Saving My Brother
by Vienna Ai
Summary: (Set after CoLS) Jonathan is my brother, but I hate him. He tried to destroy the world and I have to stop him. Now he'd kidnapped me and I'll do anything to get out of here. Even if I have to kill him. But right then, I see his pasts, his fears, his nightmares, and I can't bear it. Jonathan is my brother, he always force me to stay with him, and now, can I ever leave him?
1. Chapter 1 - A Bond

Part One

"Where am I?"

I looked around me. Felt a little bit confused. That question just flew away in the air. No one heard it. No one answered it.

I stood in the middle of a rocky valley. Around me, so many sharp, massive rocks rose from earth just like coarse stalagmite. The land beneath me felt so rough and had dark color so did the sharp rocks that enclosed on the either side of this valley. They seemed like a charcoal. The sky above me was completely red.

I felt like I'd drowned to an ocean where there just two colors. Red and black.

So hot, I thought to myself.

Even though the cold breeze made me shiver, this place had some hot touch. Dark and hot just like Hell. I almost believed I'm gonna get burned if my body didn't say the opposite thing.

It didn't mean that I've ever been in Hell but, You know, the books said so.

Okay, forget about the Hell. The thing is, how did I get here?

Last thing I remember was I climbed to my warm bed after a long phone conversation with Simon. I remembered that I felt so tired and sleepy so I decided to end the call. After that, I remembered nothing.

What did I do?

"Hello!" I yelled carefully. Trying to detect any sign of living creatures around me, "Is there anybody here?"

I found nothing.

This place was like a deathly village that had just burned down.

"Jace?" I called a little bit louder.

I knew it's a stupid act because I knew Jace wasn't here. He was still in the infirmary due to his heavenly fire under Brother Zachariach's care.

He's safe.

Once again, I turned around. Sharpen my eyes, I started to feel a little bit worried.

This place reminded me of the last battle area. The place where Sebastian turned Amatis Graymark into one of his dark shadowhunter. Also the place where I stabbed Jace with Glorious.

That memories had never failed to send shivers down to my body. I remembered it crystal clear, my feeling when I hold Jace's cold body, feeling his stopped beating heart, knowing that his life slipped through like sands in my fingers. No matter how hard I tried, it kept on going.

I thought I'm gonna die right then.

I could feel my heart pounded so hard in my chest. So hard till I thought it gonna stop forever in a second. Then, I could meet Jace again.

I remembered too, how it felt to call his name while his body's stand still. His eyes didn't move. He was so far and unreachable.

All I could say was, I don't wanna feel that again. The fear when I had to say goodbye to Jace.

Forever.

"Jace," I called him once again. This time it was no more than a whisper. I didn't intend Jace to suddenly showed up in front of me. I called his name just because, doing it made me feel safe. When I called his name, he felt so real and close to me. That feeling gave me strength. The same feeling as when I had to enter some battle and I could feel my stele and my seraph blades in my belt.

The feeling like I was protected.

"Why?" a voice suddenly broke the silence. That voice's low and cold, shredding right through my chest like a razor, "Even now you're still calling his name, Little Sister?"

I turned around as fast as I could, trying to find the one who spoke just now. I didn't want him to faced my back.

"Jace can't save You for now," that voice spoke again. This time it came from a different direction. I moved fast to face him, but I still couln't find his figure. He's still invisible for me to see.

"You're alone!"

The shout sounded so loud. Echoed around this dark valley. I couldn't say where did it come from.

"Where are You!" I screamed. Tried to sounded as loud as that voice. Feeling rages started to rise, "Show Yourselves!"

I heard that voice laughing. Cold and evil. It made me feel like my heart's pumping ice shards through all of my veins. Again, I turned around to find that familiar figure.

"I'm here, Clarissa," now that voice tone changed into the soft ones. So soft like a velvet. So close and dangerous, "I'm here."

Simultaneously, a pair of strong arms stretched out and hugged me from behind. It locked me in such way so I jerked in disbelief. It took seconds for me to be aware and then struggled to get lost.

"Why do you fight me back?" Sebastian whispered mockingly. He tilted his head to speak right in my ears, made me feel more trapped, "You always love being hug. I could feel when Jace did it."

Unable to stop myself, a growl came from my throat. I pushed Sebastian's arms away from my body but even though I've tried with all my power, nothing happened.

"Let me go, Sebastian!" I snapped loudly, but he tightened his hug instead.

"Ah! Ah! Ah!' He chuckled, "Now you call me Sebastian again. I think You have agreed that my name is Jonathan."

Clenching my teeth, I kept on struggle from Sebastian's hold. Poor me, even I used all of my strength, He didn't seem to feel it even just a bit.

"Jonathan is Jace's name!" I yelled at him angrily, "I will never call you with his name!"

"You call me so back there when we're in daddy's apartment," he argued my words with fake casual tone. I could feel the danger behind the calmness of his voice. The danger that trembled me.

"I did that for Jace's sake," I hissed sharply. Still tried to free myself from him.

Sebastian stood behind me so I couldn't see his face, but I swore that his body tensed a little when I said that words.

"Jonathan, is my name," he growled against my ear, "That creature is the one who doesn't deserve to be called by Jonathan. He should have never born!"

Sebastian words sent chills down to my spine. Right behind my back, I could feel his muscular body so close to mine. His chest moved up and down in fast rhyme due to his anger.

"If Jace was never born, You would have decomposed right now!"

My body was trembling hard but not because of fear. I was mad. I was really mad hearing Sebastian spoke about Jace like that.

Once again, Sebastian body tensed.

He knew, that I was true. If Jace didn't exist, Lilith wouldn't able to bring him back from death.

"He is the one who killed me at the first place," he whispered with a deathly tone, "You want me to thank him for that?"

I clenched my teeth, prepared myself to attack.

"Yeah!" I hissed, crushed Sebastian's feet with the heel of my boot as hard as I can., "But I also wish that Mikhael do my hair. I'd accepted that somethings are impossible."

My action made Sebastian gasped. He loosened his grip to my body. Just a bit, but that was enough for me. I used that chance to dropped and released myself from his arms.

As soon as I was free, I gave Sebastian a kick right on his ribs. He, who hadn't recover yet from his shock, back off while I jumped off to distanced myself from him.

At that moment, I realized the fact I was really, really weaponless. I even didn't bring my stele. It made me kinda panicked.

How could I fight Sebastian without a stele?

"You really got a progress, Clarissa," he stared right at me as he enforced himself. There was no pain in his expression, even just a bit, like it should have been when You kicked someone's ribs. Now, his face only fulled with mockery.

This was the first time I saw Sebastian since the battle. He didn't change at all.

Of course, stupid! I cursed myself. That battle was just few days ago!

"Jace trained me well," I said loudly.

"Not good enough."

I heard Sebastian hissed and the next second his arm had grabbed my neck. His body pushed me so strong till I mangled toward the massive rocks. He pressed and held me few inches from the ground. His face facing mine. So close till the top of our nose touched one another.

I gasped as my back hit the rocks. Its surface was rough and sharp, pricked my skin trough my clothes. I hissed.

"You ruined my plans, Clarissa," he snarled. I could feel his breath due to our position. It was warm and, strangely, familiar. Though his bond with Jace had broken, I still could sense the feeling of familiarity in him.

"Maybe…" I tried to answer him between my breath. His grip in my throat didn't make it easier at all, "Maybe God isn't in your side."

Even though still hard for me to breath, I didn't fail to gave him a sneer with my words but it made him laugh instead.

"Who says I need a permission from God?" his eyes which are as black as black hole gleamed with despise. One of the corner of his lips lifted upwards, forming a smile.

At that moment, I realized one scary thing: Sebastian looked enchanting. Just as enchanting as the devil in the legends itself.

"Bible?" I suggested while kicking his body. Trying to pushed him away from me.

He was unmoved. It was like kicking a pack of sand that didn't make even a single move when I attacked him.

"Tell me, Clarissa," Sebastian said casually. He really didn't feel my kick. One of his hand still held a tight grip in my throat while the other one leaned to the rock to support us. I could feel his chest moved in a rhyme with his breath. His hard muscles moved constantly. I gripped his shoulders, trying to push him away.

"Do you still believe in that thing?" he asked me softly and then chucked, "All they wrote in bible?"

Sebastian's breath blew on my face. Warm and smelled like him. Sensing that scent disgusted me.

"I don't have to answer that," I blurted. That answer made Sebastian laugh in an evili way.

"You know what, Clarissa," he whispered as laugh faded out from his face, "You're same as me. I'm the one who understands you the most. You can hide nothing from me. I know every thought in your little red head."

Now I really felt nauseous.

"I'm nothing like you."

Feeling disgust, I growled. My eyes went wide and I tried to show him how much I hate him.

"You hate me," he answered in a monotonous voice, "Just like I hate Jocelyn. What's the difference?"

"She. Is. Your. Mother!" I barked him loudly, "It changes everything!"

"And You, are my sister!" he replied as loud as I did. Then, his voice slowed down, "Same blood flows in our veins."

I shivered again. This time it didn't due to a disgust, but because I felt something in his Voice. The thing I've ever heard when he asked me, "_who do I belong to?_".

"You hate me even though you'd already knew that I'm your brother," Sebastian continued with one of his demonic tone that sounded so clear now, "And I hate Jocelyn even I knew that she's my mother. We're so alike, aren't we?"

I gasped as Sebastian tightened his grip in my throat. His eyes widened, gleamed wildly. The dark color in his eyes made a contrast with his silvery hair.

"I. Am. Nothing. Like. You!"

Sebastian blurted a heartlessly laugh. He must be realized that I'd stopped my effort in releasing myself from him. I realized, he was like a concrete wall. No matter how I tried, he was just unmoved.

"Clarissa," he leaned his forehead against the rock. His face turned toward the side of my face as he spoke. Down in his chest, I could feel his fast, strong heartbeats.

"I'm the one who unserstands you the most."

His breathe blew my ear. This time, his voice was slow, but still contain the same danger.

"We are the last morgensterns in this world."

"Like I'm proud of that," I practically hissed that words toward Sebastian's ear. I didn't try to hide the hatred in my voice, "If I could, I would have choose to be Clary Fray."

"What's so good of being Clary Fray?" Sebastian grunted. Hadn"t change his position yet, "A mundane. Weak. If You were Clary Fray, You would be nothing. But as Clarissa Morgenstern…"

He pulled his face. Now he faced me again. His eyes stared at me with a real wildness.

"You are Clarissa Adele Morgensern," he said with an assertiveness which couldn't been denied, "My only sister."

I choked. My neck was getting numb and the hatred that filled my heart really weren't helping.

"If that's true," I growled loudly, "You can start treating me like a normal brother treat his little sister instead of some dickhead psychopath treat his prey."

Again, Sebastian chuckled. He touched my cheek with his cold lips.

If it wasn't his grip in my throat that kept me still, I would have pulled my face. His action really made me feel sick. His lips left a cold sensation in my skin as he moved along my jawline.

"You are mine, Clarissa," he murmured with a low, deep voice, "You are mine, and how do I treat you is up to me."

Jace! I screamed in my head. Sebastian words made me burned by pure hatred.

"Don't touch me!" I wriggled again. Same as before, my effort just tightened Sebastian's grip in my throat.

Jace!

"You may call Jace as loud as you can if you want it," Sebastian's lips, which now just an inch apart from mine, moved mockingly, "We'll see wether Jace could come here or not."

Then he moved. His lips came closer an closer again toward mine before he finally stopped right in the corner of my mouth.

Jace! I started to feel desperate.

"Clarissa," Sebastian sighed unpatiently, "You can't stop thinking about that angel boy just a second, can you?"

Right then, I heard it. Jace's voice. So clear and real.

Clary!

His voice sounded like came from inside my head.

Clary!

"Jace!" I jerked in surprise and called him as loud as I can, "Jace! Help!"

Sebastian made a sound like a deep growl. He pulled himself immediately, dropped me to the ground. The next second, I was pulled with a power that made me gasped.

"Keep this on your mind, Clarissa," he whispered. Coldly and tense. I could hear anger in his every words, "You are mine. And when the time has come, I will come for you. The world which you know right now will surrender beneath our feet."

Clary!

Jace's voice became clearer as Sebastian let go of his grip on me, made me fell to such a bottomless dark hole. Fell deeper and deeper towards Jace's voice.

"Clary!"

For some moments I was trapped in the perfect darkness before I realized that it was just my eyelids. I opened it, and a bright light shone around me.

"Clary, are you okay?"

I woke up immediately. Almost hit Jace's head in the process. Lucky him, he was fast enough to pull himself from his position above me.

I looked around, not fully conscious. Everything seemed normal. My bedroom in The Institute was still the same as the last time I saw it before I closed my eyes to sleep. I was on my bed and not in that bloody valley. Instead of Sebastian, Jace was by my side. Gave me a worry look.

"Jace," I called him softly. My voice was tremble. Now I realized that I was covered in sweat. Strands of my hair sticked on my forehead.

"What happened?" Jace moved closer to me after he was sure that I wouldn't make a sudden move anymore. His movement was so careful and he kept a little distance, "Do you had a nightmare? You have just snapped at me, telling me not to touch you."

I shook my head. Trying to erased the feeling of Sebastian's lips in my cheek.

"That wasn't a dream," I croaked, "Sebastian came to me..."

Without seeing, I knew that Jace's body was tensing. He came even closer to me.

"What did he want? Did he do something to you? That evil bastard…"

"I'm okay, Jace," I stopped him before he finished his words. I looked up to find his eyes, stared through his golden eyes which now seemed like flaring up by that heavenly fire inside his body.

Back there, Jace's eyes was like some liquid gold. So warm and melted my heart everytime I saw him. Now, that gold was covered by the blazing heavenly fire and burned me inside everytime we looked at each other.

"Sebastian just confirmed what he'd say before," I muttered. This time, I was the one who took a way closer to Jace. This made him more tensed, "He's coming, Jace. He'd say that. _Erchomai_. And he said he's coming to take me."

Jace's breath sounded so loud when he gasped in surprise. I hadn't told him about what Sebastian said after Jace left us back there in Valentine's apartment so he hadn't know what kind of plans did Sebastian have for me.

"What does he want from you, Clary?" Jace snarled in a soft voice. I know he tried to hold down his rising anger, "Does he want you to be one of his dark shadowhunter?"

I stared right at Jace's face, taking a good look at his golden skin.

I stretched out my hands to touch his face. Beyond his consciousness, Jace's body become rigid. It made me stopped, just an inch from his cheek.

We've done this before. At that moment I felt an electric sting like a static waves under our touch. Just before that, Jace told me that he'd burned Brother Zachariach's hand, so we decided not to try this again.

But it seemed that I couldn't bear it. All my body screamed, wanting to feel Jace's touch in my skin.

Finally, I let my hand fell back to the bed. A little bit disappointed with our circumstance.

"Sebastian wants me to be his mate," I said with my trembling voice. Feeling disgusted.

"Last time I heard people was gossiping you as siblings," Jace commented scornfully. He'd got his body relaxed after I stopped myself from touching him.

"He said," I continued like Jace hadn't say anything, "We are the last morgensterns. I'am his, and he's mine. We are belong to each others."

My voice was still unstable with tremble. Inside my mind, I felt like I could hear Sebastian laughed.

_Finally You said it. You must have felt the truth between us, haven't you, Little Sister?_

"No," I hissed to myself. Beside me, Jace snarled the same words.

"Listen to me, Clary," suddenly he spoke and made me flinched. My attention was back to him, "You aren't his to own."

Jace gave a firm tone to his every words.

"You don't owned by anybody. You are owned by yourselves."

Jace words threw me back to the battle night. I remembered saying the same words to Sebastian.

_I am mine!_

"Yes," I nodded. Once again stared at Jace's eyes. Feeling that truth flew in every veins of mine, "I am mine, and I only share me with people whom I want. You."

Jace's eyes widened. I could see a familiar flashes in there. Flashes which never failed to steal my heartbeat, and then make it pound faster and faster.

"Clary," he inched closer, this time without hesitation. I did the same thing.

I felt Jace's warmth when I touched his face. Not burning, but not cold as Sebastian's.

That memory of Sebastian suddenly made me shudder. I swept it away as soon as possible.

How could I think about him when I'm with Jace?

The next moment, Jace pressed his lips against mine and I forgot everything else.

Once again I felt that electric waves. Jace's lips electrocuted me, literally, but I didn't want to release him. So did Jace. He pull me closer like he wanted to drowned me into his body. I ran my fingers to his golden hair, trying to keep him close to me as he deepened the kiss.

"Aw!" unwillingly, I cried a soft scream as I felt heat in my back. The surprised Jace pulled away from me immediately, blurting an apologize. He gasped when he did a check on my back.

"Emmm…" he said, clearing his throat, "I think you should change your clothes. I kind of… burned a hole in it."

"Really?" I asked in surprise. I tried to look above my shoulder at my back, "So, this time, i'ts my clothes which been burned by passion."

"Yeah," he rolled his georgeus golden eyes, unpatiently, "And I think we should stop doing this. Next time it can be you who got burned."

I could feel my face blushed, but I tried to calmed myself down.

"I didn't mind if I got burned by… Oh, okay," I stopped myself as I found him frowning, "I'm just joking."

"Ha! Ha!," he answered with a fake laugh, edged away from me. He then get off from my bed, "I'm leaving you so you can get back to your sleep."

"Wait!"

I uttered fast to stop him. He stood and looked at me, his eyebrows lifted.

"Can you stay with me tonight?"

Jace stared at me. His eyes fulled with frustration. It seemed like I'd just tortured him.

"Clary," he sighed with as much frustation as in his eyes, "You know that this is dangerous. I could get you burned."

"You don't need to touch me," I felt my face blushing. Maybe, in his eyes, I sounded either so hopeless or even desperate, but I didn't care. Just imagining being left alone and the possibility of Sebastian coming back to my dream made me shiver.

Jace made sounds like a hiss and a growl at the same time, then he climbed back to my bed.

"You know," he said, laying down as he gave me a sign to lay close to him. He then rolled facing me, "If tomorrow we get you become an ash, I'll chase you, even to hell, so you can slap me."

"You can do it," I commented with a smirk in my lips, closing my eyes, "Then I'll make you stay in there forever so we can be together."

"Deal."


	2. Chapter 2 - He Comes

**A/N : This is the very first fanfic I've ever published and I hope you enjoy it. I really appreciate any reviews from You. :)**

**I don't own any characters in this story. They belong to Cassandra Clare. Though I hope someday I could have ones like Jace and Jonathan.**

* * *

Part Two – He comes

Blaaarrrr!

It felt like I just closed my eyes a minute ago, then some loud noise went through my ears, tearing apart my peaceful sleep.

I woke up in a second. Made a hop till now I was standing next to my bed. Beside me, Jace had jumped before me with a grace that he owned as an angel descendant.

"What's that?!" I asked. I could feel my adrenalin rushed in my veins. Wiped away all my sleepiness.

"I don't know," he ran toward the door, "Better you change your clothes. I had a bad feeling."

I bursted into my closet. Right at that moment, my bedroom door opened and Isabelle stormed in, even before Jace could reach the door.

"He's coming!" she yelled loudly, "We have to.. Oh, now I see why I couldn't find you in the infirmary."

We didn't need to confirm who's coming. Jace ignored Isabelle's comment and bursted out of my room, "Where is he?"

"The tower's top," Isabelle spun to look at Jace who'd gone after yelled.

"Stay with Clary!"

I felt something was teared from me when I saw Jace rushed away. I knew it sounded so weak, but I had a very bad feeling too. I hated it when I couldn't stand by Jace in a battle.

Isabelle turned to me, right when I finished buttoning my emerald green coat. We had no time to change into a battle clothes. Isabelle herself was just dressed in a long black coat and her boots. I bet she just wore her pajamas under that coat.

The next second, it was Alec turn to stormed into my room. He threw some seraph blades toward me.

"Uriel, Raguel, and Gabriel."

He said the names of that three seraph blades as he threw it one by one. Then he turned back and gone in a second without saying anything else.

"Wow," Isabelle blinked, "He's just threw Gabriel to you."

"Let's hope that Alec doesn't be exposed to heavenly wrath," I said as I ran to the door. Isabelle followed behind me, "I think we still need him."

I kept Uriel and Samariel under my coat and grabbed Gabriel tightly in my hand. Ready to face whatever came to us.

In a halfway we met Aline and Helen.

"So, this is the time, isn't it?" a flash smile went through Aline's lips. Her hair, which now cut so short, moved slowly as we ran.

"Yeah," Isabelle smirked. Her black coat flapped behind her. She had her straight black hair done as a ponytail that bounced in a rhyme with her steps, "He'd said that, didn't he? It seems that the Morgensterns always keep their promises."

I decided not to give an attention to Isabelle's teasing, and asked.

"I heard loud noises, what was that?"

Helen was the one who answered my question.

"Jonathan Morgenstern came into The Institute by breaking through the glasshouse's roof."

My stomach sank as I remembered the scene when I was with Jace in that glasshouse.

"But, how come?" I asked, clenched my teeth as we veered in the alley. There were more shadowhunter joined us. Indeed, after the letter from sebastian arrived, a lot of shadowhunters came to New York Institute from around the world.

"I thought they're whom possessed by demonic elements can't come in to this building. The barrier should have turned him down due to his demon blood."

"About that," Aline slipped between two adult shadowhunters so she could keep running beside us, "I can't make sure of it yet. Indeed, they whom been cursed should have never be able to take a step inside the institute. Maybe it's because he's still a part of shadowhunters."

Cursed.

That words seemed doesn't fit Sebastian.

_Of course, Little Sister. I'm not cursed. I'm the curse._

The mocking voice of Sebastian sounded in my head again. I didn't know how I could imagine him so clearly. This fact made me feel disgust about myself.

_You don't imagine me. I'm here._

I gasped. I stopped in a second, making one of the shadowhunter behind me almost hit me.

"What are you doing? Move on!" Isabelle hissed. She pull me so I had no choice but kept running.

I decided not to tell her about what I'd just heard. I didn't want to admit that I'd just heard Jonathan Morgenstern spoke inside my head. It was something that you didn't want to happen to you, wasn't it?

I could feel chill went through my body, but I continued running with the other shadowhunters till we reach the glasshouse on the top of the tower. This room had already full with the shadowhunters. Some were ready in the battle clothes, the others were just like me, wore a coat to cover their sleeping outfit. The Shadowhunters made a crowd till I hardly found Jace. Instead of finding Jace, I saw him.

There, in the stairs where I and Jace kissed for the first time, Sebastian Verlac stood. As real as he was in my dream. As dangerous also. The wind rushed from the hole he made in the roof, blowing the strands of his white blonde hair. His eyes that looked like a dark tunnel shone in scary excitement. His fine white skin glowed beneath the moonlight, decorated with runes. I could see it clearly from where I stood. Strength, speed, and agility.

It seemed that this demon still blessed by the sign of the angel.

But I know, there's another marks in his body.

The scars made by Valentine. Crossed one another in his back.

I remembered the feeling when I touched them. Felt like it just yesterday. I asked him if that scars hurt him.

_All the time._

I felt a twist in my stomach as I reminded how Valentine had raised Jonathan and how Jonathan still followed his footsteps, encouraged all his action.

"I Come in peace," he shouted, but even three-years-old kid knows that he's lying. An evil smirk adorned his face, "I can see you've already set a welcome party for me."

"What do you want this time, Jonathan?"

I tiptoed and found Maryse Lightwood was the one who's speaking. She stood in the front line. It made sense, she was the head of the New York institute.

"What I want?" Sebastian chuckled, "You are asking me what I want, Maryse? Are you planning about giving me what I want?"

I saw Maryse made a fists. Next to her, Jace and Alec did the same thing.

"If you want to meet your mother in hell, then I'll grant it with pleasure."

I heard hatred in Jace's voice, determination, and also a tease. It seemed like I could see the heavenly fire all over his body.

"Ah," Sebastian glanced at Jace before looked back at Maryse, "I think I like the other You more than this. You know, You who'd been bound to me."

A moment. Sebastian just glanced at Jace for a moment, but I could see the void in his eyes.

Could it be? Does Sebastian really care about Jace? Jace who's his friend, I mean. Not my Jace.

"You have to," answered Jace with laugh of satisfaction, "Everybody loves dreams more than reality."

Sebastian didn't response. He scanned the room with his eyes, observing all the shadowhunter one by one before his eyes stopped at my face, and he smiled.

"I come to take you," he said straight at me, "Come with me."

"Wha.." Jace opened his mouth once again. Thinking Sebastian was still talking to him, but before he finished his words, he realized that the others had turned around and stared at me.

Jace spun like a robot. His gaze at me was full with surprise even though I'd told him before about Sebastian's will.

The shadowhunters around me made a move in an instance. Like there was a command, they took a distance from me. Now I stood in the center of a circle, there were just three shadowhunters stood next to me.

"Don't listen to him, Clary," Izzy stood in front of me, starring straight at Sebastian, "You belong here with us."

I hissed with rage. I don't like it when people keep trying to protect me from what I have to face by myself.

"Step aside, Iz," I whispered fiercely, "I'm the one who have to face him."

Aline and Hellen heard me and they took a step aside but kept a close distance between us. Isabelle shifted from my front to my side.

"There's no reason for Clary to come with you!" Jace snapped. He was standing between me and Sebastian. Protected me from him. I could see for a moment, his eyes were flashing with rage.

"Clarissa," Sebastian Called me again, lifting his eyebrow, "Remember what I told You before?"

My eyes widened.

Was this really all about taking me with him?

"I'm not yours!" I blurted. I could feel my face blushed with shame and anger, "And I will never be yours!"

Sebastian clicked his tongue. His gaze still focused on me. Right then, a dagger flew towards him.

Still with a wide eye, I watched Sebastian waved his hand lazily and that dagger turned back, whizzed, before plunged into the stomach of the owner. Jia penhallow.

"Mom!" Aline yelled. She bursted toward her mother who's now slumped to the floor. Some shadowhunters ran to help her.

"You!" Maryse barked. But Alec grabbed her hand before she could do anything. He gave her a warning look.

"You know that's not true, Clarissa," Sebastian continued speaking like there was no interruptions. It drew my attention back to him, "You know that You're mine. That's why You can hear my voice and the reason why I can be here right now."

I didn't answer instantly, or maybe I just didn't listen to him. My body was trembling with rage and hatred. All that I could feel just Iz who was holding my hand tightly.

"We are one," Sebastian said with a stern voice, sending a shiver through my spine.

"What do you mean?!" Jace asked. It seemed that Sebastian words had shot a wave through the crowd.

Sebastian chortled. He leaned casually towards the handrail. Looked down contemptuously.

"Do you remember when my sister said that I told her we belong to each other?" smile played in his lips as that words came out, "By saying that, She admitted it accidentally. The bond between us, I mean. And the bond's just getting stronger. Not the same as you and I did, but we are one. As long as valentine's and Jocelyn's blood flows through our veins, she is mine. And where she stands, is where I belong."

The more Sebastian's words came to end, the more my body became cold.

As long as Valentine's and Jocelyn's blood flows through our veins…

That's why the barrier didn't worked. He was part of me. As long as I was inside this building, he could come in and out freely.

I staggered back.

No! I don't want to be bound to him! Never!

Next second, I felt three things happen : Izzy's grip on my hand tightened, something very powerful hit me, and loud shout flooded the room.

This couldn't be real, I thought to myself. I must be still dreaming.

Then, everything went blank.

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**Oookaaay, that's all for now. Kinda short but I'm going to post the next chapter as soon as possible. :D**


	3. Chapter 3 - Trying To Kill

**A/N : This is another chapter of the story Saving My Brother. I apologize for the typos or maybe the spelling mistakes. Please enjoy the story. :)**

**I own nothing. All characters belong to Cassandra Clare.**

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Part Three – Trying to Kill

My body felt numb.

I'd ever heard that people could be disoriented after got a long sleep, and It kind of often happened to me just lately.

I could feel everything around me, but I hardly felt my body. I could sense the fresh air touching my skin, the tender bed beneath my back, and someone was making a move not so far from me.

But I couldn't move my body. Even just a tip of my fingers. It seemed like I failed to find where my arms and my legs were. I even couldn't find out how to opened my eyes.

It took some minutes until I could gain back the control of my body. Started from the tip of my fingers, then my legs and my arms, and finally, I could open my eyes. A white light bursted into my sight in an amount that could blinded me right when I did it. It made me closed my eyes again immediately.

After a few second, I tried it once again. This time I did it slowly. Just a slit at the beginning, enough for the adaptation. Then I widened it slowly till my eyes could fully opened without feeling dazzled.

The first thing I saw was a white cellar, and also a white wall.

I blinked.

The room where I laid covered by white. The cellar, the walls, even the bed. As if I was thrown to the Ice-carved room.

It wasn't impossible due to the cold breeze that I felt.

Still felt a bit numb, I tried to move my body and sat.

Right then, I nearly jumped.

Not far from me, sat sebastian Verlac. His pitch dark eyes stared at me with a look that I could only describe as a winning look. A satisfaction flashed through that eyes.

"Where am I?" I asked in disgust. Trying to distanced myself from him, "What did you do to me?"

Sebastian laughed. Not kind of laugh which is warm or comforting. He sounded like he was laughing at something that only understood by himself.

"This is one of our father's special house. After you broke the apartment, I moved here. You didn't think that Valentine Morgenstern had only one hiding place, did you?"

I shook my shoulder. Looking at him contemptuously.

"I believe so. If it wasn't, We should have arrested him long ago."

Sebastian laugh vanished.

"How about you? Your mother should have much hiding place. Especially with the mortal cup in her hands."

I know he said that words to despise me. He should have known that live in mundane's world wasn't as easy as people thought it was.

"Well," I answered fiercely, "We didn't need so much hiding place. We aren't fugitives though. We didn't do such a crime like You!"

Sebastian moved very fast. In a blink of an eye, he was standing right in front of me. He bowed in such a way that made us became so close. I suddenly felt the urge to inched back but I resisted. I looked up back at him, trying not to seemed afraid.

"Your mother should have felt it too," he hissed with hatred, "How the clave chased and treated the shadowhunters who'd been loyal to our father."

Sebastian spoke so close to my face. So, Once again, I could feel his warm breath. Now I couldn't help but pulled myself back. He made me feel disgusted.

But he wouldn't be Sebastian Verlac if he let me go that easy. He pushed me hard till now I was laying in the bed. His hands held a very tight grip upon my shoulder, crushing me to the bed. His legs was in my both side.

I realized, now we were even closer than before.

In this distance, I could see him very clearly. His eyes as dark as the black hole, pale skin, and white hair. He wasn't looked like Sebastian Verlac at all. He is completely Jonathan Moergenstern.

My brother.

But like I said, I would never call him Jonathan. Not until I forgave him

And it maybe means never.

"Of course not," I answered with as much hatred as he sounded, "My mother didn't encourage YOUR father's plans."

"You're right. Jocelyn betrayed our father," Jonathan smiled cynically, "Your mother left us. Me and our father. What kind of mother who abandoned her family?"

I cracked my teeth. I hated listening to the way he talked about my mother. He sounded as if my mother was a heartless selfish woman who neglected her family to made sure of her own safety.

But it wasn't true. My mother did that to save me. Her daughter.

"A woman who realized that her husband is a power-seeker psychopath?" I scorned, "Plus, He has ruined their son's life? What do you expect from a woman?"

Jonathan's eyes darken by anger. I couldn't believe if it's possible because his eyes was completely dark already.

But it happened.

One of his hand shifted from the bed and started to caressed my cheek. His fingers felt as cold as an ice upon my skin. He looked through my eyes as he spoke, sounded so deadly.

"Who the hell are you to say that my life has been ruined?" he hissed.

As sudden as his movement usually was, he held a tight grip in my throat with the hand which had just caressed my cheek a moment ago.

Choked by Jonathan's grip, I tried to make a smirk.

"You are in the clave's blacklist, all shadowhunters are chasing you, your mother neglected you, and your father loves Jace more than he love you if he ever loved you at all! What's remained?"

I practically blurted my words out. For a second, I think Jonathan was going to explode furiously and kill me, but no, he was just staring at me with his void dark eyes. His face frowned and twisted like I had burned the inside of his head. His fingers in my throat twitched. It made me prepared for all the possibility.

"And you, Clarissa," he whispered as soft as a velvet. His tone was still so damn deadly, "How about you? Why I didn't hear you said your name? How's your feeling toward me?"

I felt a chill went through my body. Jonathan's words were a trap, I know it. But I didn't know the right answer.

"You're still asking how's my feeling toward you?" I asked, once again, cynically, "Do I have to say 'psychopath' once again? Or you would be happier if called by…"

Jonathan squeezed my throat and the rest of my words disappear as I choked.

"You are the same as me, Clarissa," he then tilted his head, moved his hand to the side of my body to support his motion, and he whispered in my ears, closing his eyes. I could hear him clearly because we were so close. I could hear his heartbeat. So strong in his chest even though I didn't touch it.

I held my breath in surprise, finding that his heart beat in such an inhuman speed. Mine was also fastened in fear.

"Basically, we're same."

"I told you…!"

"You just haven't see it yet," he continued, paid no attention to my protest, "You can even be more evil than me."

I stunned. Unable to accept his words

"I'm sorry?" I asked in disbelief, "How could I be more evil than you?"

_You're the demon._ I nearly said that, but I could stop myself in the very last moment.

Jonathan slowly opened his eyes. Looked at me right in the eyes with some undefined gaze.

"Do you realize? You aren't dead by now," Jonathan voice become low and low till I had to listen carefully if I wanted to understand his words. He was like mumbling to himself when he spoke, " I can't kill you without thinking thousands times, Clarissa. But You," he stopped for awhile, staring at me as if he was regretting something, "You would kill me without a single doubt if you had a chance."

This time, I didn't say a words to argued him. Jonathan's words was true. I admitted it. But I was surprised to know that he couldn't just kill me easily.

"But why?" I urged, "Why can't you kill me without thinking thousands times?"

Jonathan Morgenstern fell silent. He looked at me from beneath his thick eyelashes. His wide dark eyes seemed as if they wanted to swallow all of my face.

"Because you are my sister," he sighed in such a tone like he didn't have another option, "Who do I belong to but you? Your blood is my blood, my bones is yours. All of me is yours to own and so do you for me. I'd told you, had I? That we have a bond between us."

Back there when we fought in Valentine's apartment, he already said that words. Now, I answered him with the same answer as before.

"You don't love me."

I said that words with a stern tone. I couldn't deny that there was a little bitterness and it made me sick, but what do you expect me to feel? You would feel the same if your long lost brother turned out to be a psychopath.

Once again, Jonathan fell silent. This time he didn't answered me instantly.

"To love is to destroy," he said softly. This sentence stunned me. I'd ever heard it before, "And to be loved is to be one destroyed. You want me to destroy you, Clarissa?"

Jace!

That words was the same as the ones Jace told me long ago, when I'd just met him. Jonathan said the same words as Jace did.

The fact that Jonathan and Jace was raised by the same person hit me so hard.

They was raised by the same person, but with a different treatment. At last, Jace could find out that Valentine's words was wrong. He had the lightwoods and me who love him and made him stronger.

While Jonathan? Did he has someone by his side?

No. He had no one by his side. Just like what I said before. I believed, telling him that love would make him stronger was a waste of efforts.

"If only," I muttered. My voice was full with regret, "If only..."

"What?" Jonathan frowned. He couldn't figure it out, where my mind wandered.

"If only mother had brought you with us," I sighed, "Everything would have been different."

I remembered when Jonathan asked me, if we were raised together, would I love him? That time I answered that, if that was what happened, I must have learned to love him.

Honestly, I wasn't really sure with that answer back there.

Now I'd just realize that My answer could be right.

Unfortunately, the world where 'if only' was really happen and this real world had been separated by a great distance. Greater than the distance between heaven and hell.

With a little bit fear, I watched as Jonathan's eyes darken.

"Jocelyn hates me," he hissed with pure hatred.

"No!" I argued fast, "Mother doesn't hate you. She just afraid of your demon blood. She's still crying for you, the kid who'd been lost, taken by Valentine's crazy experiments."

Jonathan's expression stiffened. Involuntary, he grabbed the bed cover.

"Yes. She mourned for Jonathan whom she lost. Not me. If it's come to me, the only thing she'd ever cried for is her inability to kill me," he said it flatly and coldly, "You should have regret that fact. Should have say, If only my mother killed You years ago."

I silenced. I wouldn't admit that it did cross my mind. I'd ever regret my mother failure in killing Jonathan.

"Well… I didn't say so," slowly, I spoke, "But I will say that words if my mother's tears are really gone for nothing. I will say it out loud with no regret if Jonathan whom my mother mourned is no longer in there."

I looked back at him through his eyes. Challenged him to deny my words.

I didn't know what was he thinking because he didn't say a thing. He just looked at me and didn't lift his gaze from me even though seconds had passed.

Finally, he just released me from his crush and urged to the door.

"Wait!" I sat as fast as I could.

Jonathan stopped. His hand was in the doorknob. He gazed at me over his shoulder.

"How could it be that we are bound? What kind of bond do you think we have?" I asked, trying to hide my worry.

Next second, I had Jonathan Morgenstern smirked at me.

"Feeling curious, Little Sister?" he teased. His body shifted and now he was facing me, still stayed in his standing place. He shove his bangs from his forehead, "See by yourselves," he said as he laugh softly, "Then tell me what bond do YOU think we have."

Then he turned around, got out the room, and slammed the door. He left me alone in this quiet room.

Now, nothing was clearer than one thing,

Jonathan was hiding something.

And I'd learned from my experience, every single time Jonathan hid something, it was really not good at all.

All day long I trapped in the white room. Jonathan locked the door when he left me. I had no choice but stay because Jonathan took my stele so I couldn't draw a rune.

From the glass window, I could tell that this house was more special than the last apartment in which I, Jace, and Jonathan lived. Just like that apartment, this house moved between dimension. But, this house not only moved through space, but also time, the fourth dimension. Maybe this was why it became Valentine's special hiding place.

Who could find you if you hid in the past?

When Jonathan left me this morning, the view outside showed me a beautiful landscape of white snow. The earth was covered by a white freezing blanket. And as far as I could see, the world was dominated by white and grey.

But then, a few hours ago, the view started to change. Now I see a strange tropical wood. Far in the distance, I saw a volcano that still released a thick smoke from its peak. Gigantic strange birds flew across the sky. Luckily, they seemed like couldn't see this house. They just passed by as if this house was invisible.

Or maybe, so was it.

We were back in the past time. Thousands years ago before I even born.

I could never imagine if I were left outside. It was almost impossible for me to traveled back to my time. Except I could find a very great warlock who could send me through time. But, considering that histories of humankind weren't been written yet in the age where that gigantic birds lived, I doubted if this was possible.

In the other words, I was really trapped in this house. And the question was, until when? I really had to find it out.

Could this mean I have to stay in here forever?

No! I believed Jonathan had some plans. He would never stay in the past. He had some evil thing to do in order to destroyed the world.

My world.

So, while I was trapped here, I had to know anything about his plans and what he was hiding from me. I had to find out the way I could stop him from ruining everything that I cared about.

For the umpteenth time, I walked across the room. After dinner, I'd entered Jonathan's room and stole his stele. His stele was my only weapon tonight. Jonathan took Uriel and Raguel when he brought me here. I'd seen them in his room back there when I took the stele. I wished that seraph blades were still in there. So I could use it to kill Jonathan if I got the chance.

I had to do it as soon as I got the chance, I thought to myself, even though I had to stay in here forever because of that.

Indeed, Jonathan had to die in order to save the world.

I looked toward the clock over the drawer.

Two A.M.

I hoped he was already asleep.

With trembling hands, I pulled out the stele and started to draw the strength, speed, and agility runes in both my arms and legs. The last, I added the 'soundless' rune in my legs. This runes would prevent me from making any noises.

After I was ready, I walked towards Jonathan's room. I didn't need to tiptoed or skulked anymore. Both my steps and everything which I touched wouldn't make any noise.

It didn't take much time for me to reach Jonathan's room. Some minutes later, I'd stood in front of his door. My heart beat so fast as I drew an opening rune after did the 'soundless'. The door opened without any sound, allowed me to came into the room.

This room was dark. Like I thought, Jonathan had fall asleep. To prevented him from waking up, I drew a rune that paralyzed all his senses. So there was no possibility for him to caught me here.

After I got my work done, I looked at Jonathan's sleeping face. In his slumber he looked younger than he should be. His eyes closed. Strands of white blonde hair fell upon his forehead, so smooth against his skin. All of his scars completely subtle under the pale moonlight. His skin looked as fine as a porcelain. He didn't wear any clothes but a black baggy short so his well-built body was nearly exposed.

Seeing Jonathan like this, I couldn't believe that he was planning in slaughtering the shadowhunters. He seemed so innocent.

But I wouldn't allow that to softened my heart. This time I had to kill him. If I could kill him now, then the whole problem would been solved.

Okay, there would be one problem remained.

How could I get out from this house?

But that was my problem, and as long as I could save everything that I love, I thought I could handle it.

I looked around and felt relieved when I saw Uriel and Raguel in the corner. I grabbed one of them and went back to Jonathan's side.

"Raguel," I whispered softly, watching as the blade lightened the entire room.

Slow but sure, I lifted the blade and was ready to stabbed it to my brother's chest.

Then I paused.

I didn't know what kind of demon which possessed me, but Jonathan's words echoed in my head.

_Who do I belong to but you?_

I stunned. Why it had to come now?! Why that question haunted me now?!

Jonathan wasn't mine, just like I wasn't his. I would never want to be his and I'd never want him.

I tightened my grip on Raguel, collecting my strength.

_You could be more evil than me, Clarissa._

Right. He was right. I could be more evil than him. I even tried to ignore when my heart spoke to me.

_You are in the clave's blacklist, all shadowhunters are chasing you, your mother neglected you, and your father loves Jace more than he love you if he ever loved you at all! What's remained?_

I shut my eyes close as my own words rushed into my mind.

How could I say such an evil words? I knew it was true, but I'm not the kind of girl who could say such a thing like that to other people. Why it had to be toward my brother instead?

But he'd never be my brother, a voice in my head spoke. If you referred to the bloodline then yes, he's my brother, but he'd never be a brother for me. It was really the opposite of what Alec and Jace had. They even didn't share the same blood, but they are brothers in heart.

For the first time since I knew them, I felt jealous.

"No.."

I stunned. Jonathan's voice sounded so clear amongst the quiet room.

He was awake! But… how could he? Did I draw the rune wrong?

"No!"

I felt my body stiffened. As stiff as s statue. Slowly, I lifted my gaze from his chest, which I was about to stab, to his restless face. The innocence of his expression had gone. Switched by the painful one.

"Dad.."

I felt so relieved as I realized that he wasn't awake. He was just delirious. He started to move restlessly in his sleep. His face frowned.

"No…"

I knew I had to move fast. Indeed, the runes which I drew would keep him in unconscious state, but I didn't know how long it could handle Jonathan. I had to kill him immediately.

Once again, I tightened my grip on Raguel, and this time I swore I would really stab him. I was ready to lifted the blade down and plunged it into his chest when it happened.

Jonathan restlessly rolled back, his back faced me.

Right then, my hand wavered causing my grip to loosened. My arms became weak till I couldn't maintain it up above my brother's bare chest. I breathed so hard to get the air. Suddenly it felt like I was running out of oxygen.

I saw it, once again. The whip weals left by Valentine in Jonathan's back. So many of it, crossed one another. Countless.

_Did it hurt?_

_All the time._

My hand was really weak now so I shift it down till Raguel was hanging in my side. My mind wandered, thinking about so many possibilities.

Why? Why he still kept a faith on Valentine even though Valentine had tortured him like this?

_To be loved means to be one destroyed._

Is that the reason why he thought like that? Because of what Valentine had done to him?

"No!" Jonathan yelled again. Louder this time. He turned towards me and I could see the pain in his face, "No! don't!"

I flinched.

"Help…" in his sleep, Jonathan begged. His voice fulled with pain and sorrow. I almost couldn't bear to hear it, "Please, dad! Don't!"

A voice of my brother which fulled of plea now was breaking my heart. What kind of dream did he see? How could it make a heartless monster like him begged?

I wanted to know. I wanted to know what happened to him that could hurt him so deep like that. What was done to him?

As I thought of my will, a rune popped up in my head. The rune told me something through its dynamic lines.

It was a Dream Rune.

Without wasting any time, I drew it in Jonathan's chest and its pair in the back of my hand.

Just like its name, as the rune drawn, I felt so tired and sleepy. The last thing I did was put Raguel in the floor while I sat beside Jonathan's bed, I stretched out my arms and held his hand. Then I laid my head on the edge of the bed, and fell asleep.

I didn't know how long I'd slept, but the next thing I realized that I wasn't in Jonathan's room anymore.

I was in his dream.

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**So that's all for now. Please feel free to tell me what you think. :D**


	4. Chapter 4 - Nightmare

**A/N : Well, this is another chapter. I hope you still enjoy the story and let's see where it leads us to. :)**

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Part Four - Nightmare

I blinked my eyes.

Yes, a moment ago, I was in Jonathan's room. Sat next to his bed. And now I was standing beside a huge window. This window was high and well-ornamented, opened towards a wide green meadow. I could see a woods in a quite far distance. Everything was so green and fresh.

Idris, I realized it instantly.

I was in Idris.

This house itself didn't seem familiar. I'd never been here before. I looked around and noticed that I was in such a huge library. Down there in the meadow, I saw two figures. One of them was an adult, and the other one was a little kid. I could see their white blonde hair and realized that the adult one must be Valentine. So, I have no doubt that the kid was my brother.

I got it now. I should be in the house where my brother was raised by Valentine.

My heart jumped when the fact that the little Jace wasn't so far from me came to my mind. Jace was raised in Wayland's Manor. I knew from my conversation with Jace that the place where Jonathan lived wasn't too far from Wayland's manor.

No, I told myself, I wasn't here for that. No matter how I craved to meet Jace, I have to find out the fact about my brother first.

As my heart decided, I looked down toward the figures of my father and my brother. The distance between us was quite far, but I could hear them as clear as if they stood next to me. Jonathan was in his training with Valentine.

"You move slowly!" I watched with fear as Valentine really slashed Jonathan with the seraph blade, "You have to move faster than this! Try to avoid my strike!"

The little Jonathan, I could tell he was exhausted, turn back to ward against Valentine's strike but failed. The seraph blade which been held by Valentine cut his arm, leaving a fresh bloody wound. The blood flew along his arm before dropped onto the light green grass.

"Don't give your enemy a chance to attack!" Valentine's expression didn't change even a little after he hurt his son. He yelled as he moved to Jonathan side and pushed him hard with the blade's handle, "Even your back! Your enemy could have attack you from behind!"

Valentine slipped behind Jonathan and was ready to kick. This time, Jonathan could avoid his father, but then he stumbled and fell down.

As fast as Jonathan fell, Valentine had stood next to him. For a moment, I thought Valentine would reach for his son and helped him to stand.

"I'm tired," Jonathan's voice was trembling. He tried to stand with such unsteady legs.

Not a weird thing, there were so many wounds in his body which still bled. He must be felt so light-headed.

"Have you forget what I told you about complaining?" Valentine swung his leg and it landed in Jonathan's back. He slumped to the ground, "Stand up!"

Mustered all his energy, Jonathan tried to stand. He did it even though, I could see, with so much effort.

Just then, Valentine stroke again.

As if it was in a slow motion, I saw Valentine lifted his leg, aiming Jonathan's right side. I wanted to scream, warned him, but I know it was pointless. My brother realized the kick in a second, then tried to avoid. Unfortunately, he didn't fast enough. Valentine's kick hit him right in his stomach.

"Ughh!"

I watched them, felt completely horrified as Jonathan had been thrown. He laid on the grass, rolled over and over, holding his stomach in terrible pain. Blood trickled down his chin when he coughed a moment later.

"Uugh, Father, It's hurt!" he groaned in pain. I thought it was a reflex cause he looked as if he regret it immediately as that words slid from his lips.

Valentine stopped. He stood tall before Jonathan.

"What did you say just now?" he asked fiercely, "Say it once again!"

The little Jonathan shrank under Valentine's gaze. He even didn't dare to make a single voice. A drop of blood slowly trickled in the corner of his mouth, but he just let it dropped upon his clothes. Jonathan didn't make a single move either.

Without waiting for Jonathan's answer, Valentine pulled him harshly and dragged him to the front door then inside the house. Jonathan still didn't make even a single moan though, I knew, Valentine had hurt him once again.

Just that, from where I stood, I could see Jonathan's eyes which filled with terrible horror. For a brief moment, he looked just normal. Just the same as other kids who could be scared and feel pain.

At the moment they went inside, I realized that I'd got my cheeks wet by tears. I couldn't stop it. My tears running down my face again and again. I blinked my eyes several times but I still couldn't help it.

Is this the figures of my father whom I never knew? A tyrant who tortured his own little son?

I never knew that my father was still alive, so I had never imagine that, somewhere out there, there was a kid who suffered from his tortured.

I tried to remember, how old was I when this event happened? My brother seemed to be five or six years old, then I must be three or four years old. Now, the little Clary must be there in New York. Maybe she was with her mother, or maybe in her bed. How many hours was the time gap of Idris and New York?

Then I realized that I wasted my time with my unimportant thought. While I was just stood there and thought, Jonathan and Valentine could be doing something inside the house.

Didn't want to waste more time, I turned back to find them. I guessed they were in the training room so I headed there.

"Aaaaaah!"

As fast as I got close to the training room, I heard Jonathan's scream. I stopped myself in an instance, trying to listen carefully.

Then I heard it. The sounds of the whip lashed towards something.

Ctarrr!

"Aaaaah!"

Jonathan's screamed louder than before then followed by sobs and moans.

"It… hurts me… Father.."

Ctarrr!

I shut my eyes closed as I heard Jonathan's deathly scream. I pressed my hands towards my lips so I didn't make any sound. My heart was broken hearing my brother's scream. It needed so much effort for me not to rushed inside and snatched the whip from Valentine's hand.

I peeked through the slit in the door. It was very small, but it was enough for me to see them. Valentine stood in the middle of training room while Jonathan laid in his feet. His little body squirmed in pain.

I squeezed my coat's edge as hard as it needed to held my scream.

I couldn't stand it! Valentine was torturing my brother! I had to help him!

But right after that I realized that I could do nothing. This was a dream, I couldn't change anything from here. Everything would be just useless. I could only watch as Valentine lifted his arm again. Jonathan had already still. He had his face down so I couldn't see his face.

"Wail, and I'll whip you harder!"

Valentine's voice was cold and sharp like a razor.

This time, I heard nothing from Jonathan. Just a low sob. Instead, I saw him clenched his fists to withstand the pain.

"Stop crying!" Valentine yelled. I saw his hand moved to lash his whip which crushed right at Jonathan back. At the same time, a sounds of lashes echoed around the room. Louder than ever.

"AAAAAARRRGHH!"

Jonathan wasn't only screamed by now, he roared. A long wounded-animal-like-roar came from his mouth as his body strained and moved spasmodically due to the unbearably pain from the whipping. He arched his back as if he tried to stand, but Valentine stepped on him so he'd been crushed against the floor.

_Father punished me with the demon metal whip._

I saw Jonathan coughed and more blood came out from his mouth.

I could feel my nails dug into my own flesh. It was already bleeding, but I just ignored it. I knew I was about to lose the control of my anger. My body trembled with hatred, but now my hatred was aimed to Valentine.

"You hear me, Jonathan, there's no one who's gonna help You! No one! So You have to be strong! You understand?!"

There was no answer. For a moment, I thought Jonathan had fainted, but right then Valentine lashed his whip, again and again.

"Answer me when I ask you!"

I saw it with terrors as the whip hit Jonathan's back over and over again as he squirmed again. I could see him squeezing his own hands over and over again to hold back his screams.

"Yes… Father," finally he could say it. Even though with a very soft voice, fulled with despair.

I really felt numb by now. I could felt that not only my heart, but also something else inside me that slowly collapsed. I couldn't stand it. I couldn't. No matter how evil he was, I couldn't stand seeing him being tortured by Valentine like this. Plus, he was just a little kid. How could Valentine be so cruel towards his son?

Tears started to came back to my eyes. Flew down freely along my cheeks.

"Do you understand it, Jonathan? There will never be someone standing by your side. You've got to be able to stand alone. People would just slow you down. You understand?"

A moment of silence before Jonathan little voice answered.

"I under…stood, father.."

"Great!"

After saying those words, Valentine threw his whip away.

"You know what, Jonathan?" he said slowly as if he was bored, "I know you'll be a great fighter."

It supposed to be a compliment, but I even couldn't be happy for Jonathan. Not after I saw how Valentine had trained him.

"You were born to become a fighter," Valentine continued. Now he spoke with a smirk in his face, "There's no other choice, monsters have to be so great in fighting, don't they?"

Still, I heard no answer from Jonathan. He was trying to gained his strength and stood up. Even though his legs seemed unable to support his weight, he still tried to rose.

"Everything around you will be surrender. Everybody will respect you! All you have to do is practice harder."

I swore, when Valentine said his words, Jonathan's hands moved and formed a fists. Squeezed his own hands once again.

Valentine, without giving Jonathan one last glance, turned around and walked toward the door.

"Now I have to go. I forbid you to follow me like yesterday."

As fast as possible, I rushed to the corner of the alley, hid there as I drew the 'invisible' rune.

Lucky me, Valentine walked to the opposite direction. He walked in a huge steps so he disappear in seconds, went outside through the front door.

Now I confused. Should I followed Valentine? Or I had to helped Jonathan? I could guess where was Valentine going and I really wanted to followed him. If I were lucky, I could met Jace there. My heart jumped thinking about that possibility, but this was Jonathan's dream. I couldn't go as I wished or there was a chance that I would lost in the dream world. Forever stuck in limbo.

While my heart argued, I caught the image of Jonathan coming out the training room. His body was battered and fulled with bleeding wound. His clothes torn apart in the back and I could see his wounded back. Torn and bled. His wounds colored with red and black, blistered because of the demon metal. His steps was heavy, though, and he was half-dragging himself. His motion was slow, but sure.

My brother was so young. He was thin, but tall for a kid in his age. His white hair had length just an inch down his ear. His bangs fell down almost reached his eyes. That eyes just the same as Big Jonathan had. Black and darkened by pain and determination to follow his father. It turned out that he decided to ignore Valentine's order.

I followed him from a distance. He walked through the front door, further through the meadow and the woods, til we arrived at the place which I'd ever saw in the picture in Jace's room.

Wayland's Manor.

The little Jonathan stood in the end of the woods. Leaned his body against one of giant tree, gasped for air, then looked at the manor carefully. It seemed that he was searching for something. Then, his eyes rooted into one of the window in the second floor.

Jonathan's expression darkened. The bloods that trickling down his face seemed like reddened tough it was just the effect of the change in his face. His skin became more pale.

I tried to sharpen my eyes, and I could see it.

Through the window, I could see Valentine sitting behind the piano with another kid. I could only caught the image of the kid's head which covered by golden hair.

Jace!

That was little Jace!

My heart flew with joy as I saw Jace inside that house. I hardly caught my breath.

I'd just met Jace this morning, but I missed him so much till I wanted to ran inside that house no matter how strange it would be for the little Jace.

Calm down, Clary! I talked to myself. That would cause a disaster. You have to calm down.

Right then, something crossed my mind.

The one who sat behind the piano wasn't my Jace. He is Valentine's son. Not my Jace. This Jace would never recognize me.

I felt some familiar disappointment flooded my heart. It begun to ache just like every time I think of Jace while we were apart. But I got it. Slowly but sure My heartbeat back to its normal speed, and I continued watching Valentine and Jace.

It seemed that Valentine was teaching Jace to play the piano. He looked irritated, but far from angry. He talked to Jace impatiently.

I couldn't hear Valentines words due to our distance, but I still could see him when he lifted his head, and stared through the window.

Right at Jonathan.

One thing that I realized was that I and Jonathan had the same understanding. Valentine had saw Jonathan there, and now, he was angry to death.

In an instance, Jonathan turned around, and stumbled. He fell down. His face hit the ground and now his nose was bleeding. He chose to ignore it and stood immediately. In the meantime Valentine had reached the front door.

I know Jonathan was in a grave danger. The question was...

Should I help him?


	5. Chapter 5 - Magnus Voice

**A/N : A big thanks for the reviews. It make me think about some alternate endings for this story, but for now, this is the next chapter of my story. Please enjoy. :)**

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Part Five – Magnus Voice

I know that my brother was in danger, I knew I had to help him, but I hesitated.

I thought of Jace. His expression when I called Jonathan back there in Valentine's Apartment. He would do anything to stop Jonathan.

So, why should I let my feeling drawn me? It was just a dream!

But it felt quite real fo me now.

So I ran towards him who still lumbered in fear. I scooped him into my embrace and with one movement I was carrying him. It was a little bit difficult because I tried not to touch his wounded back. His body stiffened in my arms, but he was smart enough to not screamed.

"Relax, Jonathan," I whispered in his ear as I kept running through the wood. I knew it must be so strange to be carried by someone you couldn't see, "I won't hurt you. For now, I'll protect you from your father."

Jonathan, either shocked or trusted me, didn't resist when I hugged him. I kept on running till we reached a wide lake.

I slowed my steps, looking back to find out if Valentine was still chasing us or not. I breathed in relieved to find that he wasn't. I stopped near the water, trying to caught my breath.

I'd never been here before, but I guessed Jonathan had. Anyway, this place was in his dream.

I lifted Jonathan down from my arms, and had to caught him immediately. He slumped down and I had to hugged him to support his weight.

"I'm sorry," I whispered softly. Still invisible for him. He pulled away from me in a blink of an eye.

"Who are you?" He asked me with voice fulled with caution, "Show yourselves!"

No, I thought, smiling. I wouldn't allow you to see me. Not ever.

But something in his expression touched my heart. It was the firm look in his eyes. He looked so…

I didn't have a words to describe it. It was just inhuman to see that little kid had such an expression like that.

"I'm not gonna hurt you," finally I spoke.

"Then show yourselves!"

"I can't."

Yes, of course I couldn't. did you think I was out of my mind? It was Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern who was standing before me. I wasn't crazy enough to just show myself. What if he did something to me when I appeared?

"Then there's no reason I have to trust you," jonathan stared through me. He couldn't see me, but clearly, he could tell where I was. He had an awesome ears to guess where my voice came from.

Well, he was Jonathan, wasn't he? I couldn't expect him to treated people nicely.

"What about, I'd just save your life?"

I said that words and almost burst a laugh. I recalled the moment when Jace saved me from the demon in my house. Now I knew what he thought just there.

"I didn't need your help," my brother said firmly. But somehow he became more pale. His lips were white.

"Oh would you feel better if I just left you with your father there?" I rolled my eyes even I knew he couldn't see me, "I doubt it."

It must be a tease in my voice that made him become angry.

"What do you know about my father?!"

_That he is a psychopath._ I almost said that but I could stopped myself in the very last moment. I thought of something.

"I know your father, but I know your mother better."

At once, Jonathan's eyes grew even darker. He gazed at my direction with a gaze that supposed to kill me if it could.

Now I could see why my mother was afraid to his own son. He was so young, but even I could see that he was so inhuman. There was no six years old boy who looked at you as if he wanted to kill you.

Oh, actually, there was. He was my brother.

"You know my mother?!" he asked loudly. Nearly yelled before he shut his mouth up for awhile.

"She left me," Jonathan continued. Shortly, fiercely, but all his feeling as a six years old boy reflected there.

Angry, hurt, heart-broken, neglected.

_Mother carry the key of our soul, but you threw mine away._

"Your mother didn't know that you're alive," I took a step closer to him, "She's still mourning when your birthday comes. She thinks you're dead already."

At first I thought Jonathan was chilled out. He looked away. But when he stared back to me, he did with a full determined eyes.

"That still doesn't answer the question, why did she leave me?" he insisted with the same tone. I could see his hands started to tremble.

I fell silence.

To be honest, I didn't know how to answered that question. Honesty would sound so cruel if I said it right now.

"Is that because I'm a monster?"

I gasped.

"Who told you that?" I shouted. Right after asking that, I did know exactly who the hell had told Jonathan about that, "Your father?"

Jonathan nodded.

"I'm a monster," he quoted Valentine's words, "I was born to be a fighter. There's no other choice, isn't it?"

Then he formed a fists. His expression hardened as he continued.

"My mother left us because she hate me. Because the demon blood in me. Even my mother unable to love me. No one could but my father, but…"

He stopped in a sudden. So sudden till I couldn't hold myself to asked.

"But?"

Jonathan scanned the place where he thought I was standing, trying to looked straight at me but of course it was impossible. Now he was expressionless.

"I know father frequently leave to meet that boy."

My heart sank. I knew exactly which boy did he mean.

"Father leaves for him, taught him so many things too, but never treat him like he did to me. Why? Does he better than me? Stronger than me?"

I could say nothing. Just stood there and listened to him as he blurted out all his feeling. He seemed like a normal boy who was jealous with his brother.

Only in a scary way.

"I have to grow stronger," he said with a stern determination, "I'll become stronger than everyone else. There'll be no one stand beside me, even my father. I have to be stronger than that boy. I am better than him."

_No, you're not_, I thought to myself, _Jace is the best_.

I'd known about this superior feeling things, but I didn't realize it started since he was so young. He told me before that no one is better than him but I refused that thought. Still, for me Jace's the best.

"Your father said that?" I asked in surprised.

He nodded.

"I had never met anybody but my father. I'm alone."

His tone was fixed. Filled with cold, evil, hatred. But at the same time he sounded so lonely.

I looked down at him and couldn't help myself but felt sorry for him.

"When you wake up, you'll know that you are not alone anymore."

I was thinking about his dark shadowhunters, but somehow it didn't felt right. Just like Valentine he would gain a lot followers. But still, he looked a little bit lonely when he talked to me.

At least, if he were really alone, things would never be this hard. The fact was, he were not alone at all when he tried to destroy the world.

The little Jonathan gazed me with his dark eyes, but now those eyes looked so clear.

I forced myself to move closer toward him, stretched my arm to touch his shoulder.

Jonathan jerked and about to pulled away.

"I don't wanna hurt you," I said to stop him. I had to tear the rune or he wouldn't wake up. Forever stuck in this dream.

Maybe it was a good thing. I didn't have to kill him, but I could keep him away from those whom I loved.

Okay, at least till the rune lost its power.

But who knew when it would weakened? However, that was my rune. They said my runes were so powerful. There was a chance he would never wake up.

I'm about to stood back and left when Jonathan opened his mouth.

"Who are You?" Jonathan whispered softly. His tone was no longer fierce and fulled with hatred, "It felt like I've known You before."

It made me stop.

Was that possible? He couldn't see me, right? Did he recognized my voice? How could he recognize my voice, we were in the dream.

"You do know me."

That was what I said. I hesitated, but at last I took a deep breath and said.

"You called me Clarissa."

Jonathan gasped. Seemed like he recognized me.

When I stepped back away, Jonathan kept on watching in my direction with his huge childish eyes, even though I could see the darkness rose there.

"Clarissa," he mumbled slowly. He recognize my name and now was trying to see me. He thought I was wearing glamour, "Clarissa… Clarissa…"

God! Why should he called me in such a sad way? I wasn't the kid-lover-kind-of-girl, but sometimes I just couldn't ignore them especially after I saw their father –In this case was my father also- tortured them like Valentine did.

I stopped myself from walking away, leaving Jonathan to rot here in his nightmare. Instead, I slowly touched his legs, tearing the lines of the rune which paralyzed him.

"It's time to wake up," I said shortly.

My brother jerked and nearly pulled away, but before he could do that, I scratch a rune in my own hand.

The sleepiness which brought by the Dream Rune felt like a heavy veil. Pressed and drowned me into a deep slumber even though I knew it was already time for wake up.

I tried to resist, and opened my eyelids. It felt like someone had added some kilos in it.

The first thing I knew was, my hand was warm.

Was I still holding Jonathan's hand?

I blinked several times to wiped the remaining sleepiness.

The sun hadn't rise yet and I was still in the same position as before : sat in the floor beside my brother's bed, my head laid upon the edge of the bed. Jonathan hadn't wake up yet, his face now seemed so peaceful. His chest moved up and down as he breathed.

My body suddenly tensed when fears rushed into my head.

What did I do just that? I tought.

More precisely, what had I said?

As fast as I could, I released my grip on Jonathan's hand and stormed out of his room. Back to my room and threw myself onto the bed.

How stupid You are, Clary! I yelled at myself, feeling so angry and shame at myself.

I didn't know if Jonathan would remember the dream he just saw when he woke up or not, but still, I failed to understand how I could let myself consumed by my feeling and said things that I shouldn't have said.

He was still so young, a little voice in my head spoke.

He was Jonathan Morgenstern, I affirmed to myself. That kid whom I saw just there would kill Max and Hodge, and the most important thing, it was just a dream. I shouldn't have my heart melted for him.

I took a deep breath, so pissed off about me letting myself to felt sorry for Jonathan.

I couldn't became weak right now. I had to think about how I got out of here.

But, deep in my heart, I realize that I could never hold my blades against Jonathan to kill him with no doubt anymore. The scene I saw back there in the dream would always follow me from now on.

Forever.

I looked outside through the huge window. It was still dark out there and we were still in the same tropical woods. This house hadn't move again.

I couldn't help but let my mind wandered.

What was Jace doing? Did they search for my whereabouts?

My heart ached when I remembered Jace.

It just yesterday, the last time I touched him. felt him against my skin, and his lips against mine.

And now, here I am. Trapped in the past with Jonathan Morgenstern.

"Jace," I called him softly, remembering how I heard his voice when I was in the dreamland.

If I was dreaming right now, I really wanted to wake up right now. I wanted to see Jace laid beside me, telling me that I'd just had a nightmare and that he would stay with me until the morning came.

I could imagine his face crystal clear, even when I closed my eyes. I could never sketch Jace perfectly even though I could describe him until the very detail. It was like Jace face was a perfection that should only own by angels, created by the hands of God himself.

Jace. My Jace.

Was he looking for Magnus to helped him in finding me right now? Magnus is a very great warlock. Could him trace me to the past?

_Clary!_

I jumped.

I listened to all around me carefully but I heard nothing.

I knocked my own head lightly as I laid back myself to the bed.

Oh God, Clary! Your mind perfectly consumed you, didn't it? You tought about Magnus just too deep until you thought you heard his voice.

_Clary!_

Right at the moment I said Magnus Name in my mind, that voice sounded once again.

"Magnus?" once again I jerked and sat. Started feeling dumb because, clearly, Magnus wasn't here.

But then Magnus spoke once again. It sounded crystal clear as if he was hiding somewhere in this room.

_Oh, this is good. Finally I've found you._

"Magnus?" I called him once again. Still wasn't sure about what I heard.

_Yes, Clary. It's me. You aren't crazy at all._

I inched to the edge of the bed, scanning the room vigilantly.

"Am I hearing the voice of Magnus Bane, the high warlock of Brooklyn right now?" I asked fiercely.

_For God sake, Clary_, Magnus Voice sounded full with impatiently. _Maybe you wish that you are crazy, but you don't. Not yet. You are listening to the voice of Magnus Bane, the handsome warlock of Brooklyn._

"Where are you?" I asked a little bit amazed. I stood and turned around trying to find Magnus.

_I'm in New York. You only hear my voice. I'm not there._

My joy was a bit decreased.

"Oh," I uttered in disappointment. I sat back, "How could I hear your voice?"

Magnus didn't answer instantly.

_This is a very complex magic. I could hear him sighed._

_Jace practically broke into my apartment in this early morning and asked me to trace your whereabouts. At first I wanted to reject his request due to his attitude toward me, but you have to see his face. I nearly thought that he'd been possessed by such a demon or something like that. So, I tried and, voila, here I am._

I frowned.

_Okay, not really there with you, but still, I've found you, right?_

I felt my heart sank as I heard Magnus spoke about Jace.

Jace's worried, I told myself. I could heard despair in my own voice, Jace is somewhere out there, worrying about me, while I let myself drawn by my feeling even when I faced some unreal figure.

"Is Jace okay?" I asked without realizing that Magnus was in the middle of his sentence. I noticed it when he suddenly stopped talking to answered me. His voice sounded half annoyed half amused.

_Physically, yes he's okay, but if I don't immediately tell him that you're okay, I think I'll have to visit him in city of bones in about few hours._

"Magnus!"

_I'm sorry, Clary,_ he continued speaking in a tone which didn't sound sorry at all, _but all my spell was failed to reach you. We didn't find a single clue about your whereabouts. Just the same as when we traced the real Sebastian Verlac. We almost thought that Sebastian had killed you. Luckily, I remembered that you brother really wants you alive, so I kept on searching. And it turns out that you are alive. By the way, do you know where you are?_

I sighed heavily. Magnus are a great warlock, but could he save me considering the fact that we were separated by different age?

"I'm in the past, Magnus," I bitterly said, "Valentine's house in which I stay now is not only travel through space but also time. I'm amazed you could find me."

Magnus fell silent. I thought now he understand why his spell didn't work out.

_In which age are you right now?_

"I'm not sure," I glanced at the window, "All I can see is just a tropical woods, a volcano, and a gigantic strange bird."

I didn't sure how my words sounded like. Maybe Magnus would change his mind about me hadn't going crazy and started telling the others that I had lost my mind.

_Well, Valentine always have the best,_ Magnus sounded amused so I knew that he didn't think I was crazy or something like that.

"But I'm really amazed," I admitted when magnus gave me a chance to speak, "You could pass through the magic barrier of this house and find me. I thought I was going to die in here when I knew that this house brought me to the past."

For some moments I was just listening as Magnus chuckled.

_Clary,_ he said calmly after finishing his laugh, _I didn't pass the barrier._

I could hear the winning tone in his voice. Yeah, Magnus always has his own way to despise other people.

_Jace had told me about the bond that Jonathan thinks you have._

In an instance, My body tensed. I almost forgot that fact.

_From what I have heard, I conclude that Jonathan can speak to you through some telepathy._

It was hard to be admitted, but at last I nodded. This fact felt ten times more annoying when I had to say it out loud.

"But I still have a free will," I added fast. I remembered the moment when Jace was bound to Jonathan. During those times, Jace looked like being controlled by the other him, the one who encouraged Jonathan's plan in destroying the shadowhunters.

_If that's so, you don't have to be worried._

"How could I'm not worried?" I jerked in my disagreement, "I can hear Jonathan Morgenstern speak in my head!"

_Did he say something unpleasant?_

I silenced for some moments, just to recall, but I didn't find something that he said which I considered as unpleasant. He even didn't speak anymore after we left the institute. That was why I nearly forgot it.

"No, he didn't."

_So there's no problem, is it? Even maybe, that bond between you is not magical at all._

"What do you mean?"

Magnus softly laughed. That laugh was the one which made you think that the person who is laughing was hiding something.

_You must be knew what I mean by that, Clary._ Magnus talked enigmatically. _At least you will understand it someday._

I frowned, half because curiousness and half because I really annoyed.

"You have no difference with Sebastian," I muttered.

_Oh of course we are different,_ Magnus answered without thinking. I could imagine, if he were in front of me right now, he would have lifted his eyebrows.

_I'm more experienced than him._

I rolled my eyes hearing that superior tone in Magnus voice.

"So. How you find me without breaking through the magic barrier?"

I laid my body onto the bed and watched the white cellar.

_As I said, Jace told me about the bond between you and Sebastian, and I started thinking, if he is really bound to you, in whatever way you could be, he wont let you just die easily._

I didn't respond. Jonathan's words echoed in my head.

_I cant kill you without thinking thousands times._

But, was that true? Couldn't he kill me easily? Indeed, He hadn't kill me even though I had ruined his plans, but when I did it once again, would he keep me alive?

_And then,_ I nearly jumped when Magnus voice drew back my attention to him, _I remembered an ancient spell. A spell that work in our mind. If we were connected mentally, we won't need to adhere the physic rule to communicate._

Once again, I frowned.

"Are you saying that we are mentally connected?"

Okay, I doubted that possibility. Last time I remembered, I didn't have special feeling toward Magnus.

_Admit it,_ Clary, Magnus voice once again sounded amused, _you were thinking about me, right? Because if you weren't, I wouldn't be able to reach you._

I didn't answer, just shook my head over and over again.

_I tried to reach you this whole night, and I almost gave up because I thought it was kind of impossible that you would think about me. This connection would be created if we think of each others, so at first, I doubted it even possible. But it turned out that I was wrong. You thought about me just then._

"Does it mean I can talk to Jace?"

I heard Magnus laughed. He sounded really really amused.

_Clary,_ he said with laugh remained in his voice, _have you forget that Jace is a shadowhunter instead of a warlock? He can't use magic._

Oh, shit! I think he's right.

"I think I forgot the part when you said that you use magic," I shook my shoulder as if that fact didn't disappointed me at all, but I felt my face heating up. Lucky me, Magnus couldn't see it.

There was just one thing that bothered me.

"I still hadn't understand how this mind spell could reach me without breaking the barrier, Magnus."

_Clary… Clary… Clary…_

Magnus said my name several times, I could imagine him shaking his head.

_How many times should I tell you, we are mentally connected. My spell working in our mind. We are not really talking, Clary. This conversation just happen in our head. It isn't related with that magic barrier which is now protecting that damn house. Plus, my spell doesn't work on you, but on me. I put a spell on my mind so it allows you to come in and make us connected. I didn't put it in your mind._

Magnus long explanation somehow made me understand. I nodded as that fact started to make sense.

"Yeah," I said as the understanding rushed into my head, "I was thinking if Jace asked you for help, that was the time I heard your voice calling me."

_Yeah, You guess it well. I heard you just there. From now on you have to think of me as often as you can so I can reach you again._

I nodded before realizing that Magnus couldn't see me.

"Okay," I responded, "I will think of you more often, even though I don't know what to think."

Smart girl, Magnus said with a bit amusement about my teasing.

Then I remembered something.

"By the way," I pulled my body til now I was sitting against the head of the bed, "Have you ever heard about a rune that allows us to share dream with someone?"

Magnus silenced for a moments.

_I am a warlock, Clary, he answered, not a nephilim. If you asked about the spell which can do it, then my answer is yes, there is. But if you ask about runes, I think you asks the wrong person. I don't really master the runes._

I felt a little bit disappointed but I admitted that Magnus was right.

_What's the matter with sharing dreams?_

His question made me sighed softly, should I tell Magnus that I'd had a peek on Jonathan's dream?

After I thought once again, I decided that my act just there had no relation with our problem right now.

"Nothing," I said, smiling though I knew Magnus wouldn't see it, "I just had imegined a new rune and I think it's a dream rune."

There was a silence between us.

_Did you try it?_

Something in magnus voice made me frowned. There was a little bit worry. Was that bad if we came into someone's dream?

"Would there be any problem if I'd tried it?"

A little bit uneasy feeling slipped into my heart. Magnus tone sounded like it contained a warning that accidentally caught by my ears.

_Listen to me, Clary_, Magnus explained, _dreamland is a part of our mind state. We can say that in dreams, the gate between your consciousness and subconsciousness are wide opened. Through dreams, we can also see things that we've seen, but didn't realized before. If you share dreams with someone, it means you share your mind and all your knowledge could be seen by someone whom you share your dreams with. And, for your information, it could be deathly dangerous._

As magnus reached the end of his explanation, my body became cold. Fears rushed into my mind. Magnus words also sent chills down along my spine.

"How about if we plunged ourselves to people's dream?" I asked fast. Trying to hide my fears.

_If that was the case,_ magnus answered without a single doubt. Maybe he didn't realize my fears. _Then your risks would be less. You just have to be really careful with your every single act because it will be absolutely leave a mark in the mind of people whose dream you come into. You can never imagine what will happen as a result of an idea which grow wildly in someone's mind._

Magnus paused for a second.

_Think of your father, he's the perfect example of people who'd been consumed by an idea.._

Magnus explanation hadn't reach its end yet when my body already got completely cold and stiff.

Oh, God! What have I done?!


	6. Chapter 6 - His Warm Embrace

Part Six – His Warm Embrace

Now my body was cold. Scenes from Jonathan''s dream flashed in my head.

What the result of that dreams? I thought in panic. What if that dream really imprinted Jonathan?

In a blink of an eye, my mind getting confused.

What have I done?

I kept on asking myself. Couldn't feel a thing but fears and confused.

_Nah_, I jumped as magnus spoke again, _now I have to tell the others that you are okay before they break into my apartment again and drag me to do another crazy rites._

I would have laughed imagining Jace and the others hounded Magnus to seek for me if only my hands weren't this cold.

"Tell them I'm okay," I said, forcing a smile to appear. I felt my fuzz started to rise, "Don't be worried."

_Is there another special messages?_

Magnus said teasingly. My face turned red in an instance. No matter how scared I was, I still could blush when it came to Jace. One thing I felt thankful of was the fact that Magnus couldn't see me.

"Tell jace I love him."

I heard Magnus chuckled so clear as if he was laying next to me. My face blushed even more.

_I'll tell him,_ Magnus told me, _now I have to go. I wish you always keep yourselves safe._

I nodded in agreement.

_And, Clary,_ suddenly Magnus called me again.

"Yeah?"

_In front of Sebastian, please pretend as if you wanna cooperate with him._

"What?" I could handle myself not to asking.

I did it before, and I had to admit, it didn't really work out because Jonathan already knew I was pretending, he and queen Seelie had eavesdropped the conversations between me and Simon. Now I doubt that Jonathan was still trust me. Especially after I ruined his plans about the dark shadowhunters.

_I know that Sebastian won't kill you easily, but it will be more safe for you if you act like a nice girl in front of him. So you'll be safe, at least untul we find a way to get you out of there._

Actually I didn't completely agree with that, especially I didn't really sure if I could pretend to be nice to Jonathan, but I definitely knew Magnus, once again, was right. It would be more safe if I didn't resist Jonathan directly.

"Okay," I finally said it, hardly, "I'll try."

_Good._

Magnus spoke with satisfaction. After that, the room became quiet again. Magnus had gone from my mind.

Oh, what have I done? I repeated the same words over again as I laid down. I had my eyes looking at the cellar again, traced it ornament with my gaze. I thought I'd done something terrible.

Really really terrible.

Did that dream really make a change in Jonathan?

What a stupid Clary! I cursed at myself. I really regretted that I had ever let myself pitied Jonathan.

But there was nothing left to do. It was already happened. I could only hope that Jonathan wouldn't remember that dream when he got up.

My mind was really confused, but in the other side, a single thought enlightened my mind.

They were looking for me.

Jace was looking for me.

I couldn't help but let the joy slipped into my heart, filled it with warmth and wiped away the coldness and the feeling of benumbed.

They were trying to take me out of here.

I smiled at the cellar.

Jace would definitely safe me, I was sure about it. If he had Magnus with him, nothing they couldn't do.

With that joy remained in my heart, I fell asleep. I saw Jace in my dreams. He smiled and seemed so happy. His golden hair was shimmering under the sunshine as his eyes shone with happiness. Once again I saw the gold in his eyes melted and wrapped me with its warmth.

Suddenly I couldn't breathe.

Jace came closer as I stunned, watching him. I was sucked into his charm which could be rivaled only by the angels themselves. He looked down upon me, smile never left his lips.

"Jace," I gasped as if I ran out the oxygen.

Jace didnt answer me instantly. Instead, he stretched out his hand, bowed toward me.

"Clarissa."

I stunned.

Wrong. It felt wrong.

Jace's touch in my face was cold. Jace never felt cold, and should have never felt this way.

I gasped for air. Felt completely breathless.

No! No! this wasn't Jace!

With one jolt I pulled away from Jace, and screamed.

"No!"

I sat with terror flooded into my head. I dreamed about Jace, that was a good thing, but this Jace felt like Jonathan, and it ruined everything. It was so cary when you saw Jace but felt your brother was touching you instead.

I took a deep breath over and over again in order to get myself calm. It even hadn't completely over when a pair of arms circled around my shoulder from behind. It made my body tensed at a sudden.

"Had a nightmare, Little Sister?" Jonathan's voice was soft, right in my ears, causing my fuzz to rose. Suddenly my heart filled with the same terrors as before.

I recalled the dream, one which I saw, and also which was seen by Jonathan

"I also had a dream too," he spoke again.

I felt something as if someone had knocked my head very very hard and made me dazzled.

"Let go of me, Sebastian," I said coldly. Trying to hide my fears. Clearly, Jonathan didn't release me that easy.

Of course he didn't. even if I struggled, he still might not release me.

"You don't wanna hear about my dream, Clarissa?"

Instead of letting me go, Jonathan continued his words. He laid his chin upon my shoulder and leaned his head toward my head. His legs half stretched, pressed against my both side.

"I think I'm not in a good mood to hear that," I responded after gulped over and over again, "Could you let me go. Please?"

"Ah, what a shame," Jonathan sounded full of regret. As if he didn't hear my last request, he continued, "I think you'll like it. But, well, do you wanna know something, Clarissa?"

Jonathan's skin felt so cold against mine even though his breath had some strange warmth. I could feel his hard chest pressed in my back. His heart beat fast beneath that firm muscle which built during his battle training.

"What?" I asked with a trembling voice.

I really didn't enjoy our position. For God's sake, he made me feel scared to death.

Jonathan sloped his head. Now he was facing to my face's side.

"It felt so real. Too real," he whispered. So soft and slowly against my ear. His lips almost touched my earlobe, "And do you know what I saw when I woke up this morning?"

I gulped to reduce the numb in my throat before asked.

"What?"

Inside my heart, I was cursing upon myself for being scared. Unfortunately, that wasn't helping. After what I'd been through last night, I completely became scared of my brother. I didn't know how to face him.

"I found a stele and a seraph blade next to my bed. I'm sure it wasn't there when I went to sleep."

Deg!

Oh my God! No! I'd left that things just there when I stormed out of Jonathan's room this morning. How careless I was!

I kept silent even though I felt nearly dead inside. I heard jonathan clicked his tongue.

"How do you think it could be there?"

Jonathan asked in a slow tone, sweet, but almost deathly. I really didn't know what I should said. Moreover, Jonathan must had been felt my fastened heartbeat right when he talked about stele and seraph blade. So he didn't have to wait for my answer.

I heard Jonathan sighed, sounded full of regret. I didn't understand what he was regreting. Either my silence or my harsh attitude to come into his room without permission.

"You didn't have to answer me, Clarissa," Jonathan continued as if he didn't be bothered by my silence, "It was clear that you've come into my room last night and took that seraph blade from it place in the corner. But there's just one thing I wanna ask you."

For the umpteenth times I cursed inside my mind before opened my mouth.

"What?"

Jonathan enforced himself and pressed me harder against his chest. Now It was like I'd drowned beneath his jaw. His body a little bit tilted as he placed his chin on the top of my head.

"Why do I still alive?"

He whispered softly, implied nothing but pure curiousness.

"Why didn't you kill me?"

I stunned, didn't intend to hear such a question like that. Above all question, why he wondered about that instead? About the reason why I didn't kill him?

"Why do you ask me that question?" finally I said a bit long sentence. I could felt that my voice was so stiff and cold. Not only my voice but also all of my body was never got calmed when Jonathan was touching me.

How could I relax if every time he touched me, I recalled the scenes back there in the Valentine's apartment when he almost raped me? I couldn't helped but feeling disgusted about my brother.

How could he think that there was a chance for us to be together in that way?

"Because there isn't any reason for you to keep me alive, is it?" he asked cynically, "Or maybe you just worried about being stuck in here forever if you killed me?"

I chose not to answer.

Jonathan could choose not to release me from his arms, but I could choose not to say anything. He could force me, but I didn't have to answer him honestly, did I?

"You can think as you wish," finally I said. Still in a rigid tone, "I don't have to answer anything."

I could feel Jonathan growled. That growl made a vibration in his throat, and then went along his body like fire burns the straws.

"Okay," he was back to his calm tone when he opened his mouth again.

I felt something in my head and found Jonathan was pressing one of his cheek against my hair. He said softly.

"This time I won't force you to say something, Clarissa. Let's say that it's due to my very nice mood."

I don't know why, but I swore that Jonathan sounded happy when he spoke. His voice felt as if it was floating. This was rarely happened, or maybe this was the first time I saw Jonathan was happy. I meant, really happy, not an euphoria after he did something, which usually terrible for other people.

As he fell silent, I felt his arms around me loosened, and….

You could say that I had lost my mind, but for a brief moment, I felt like he truly embraced me.

You know, not the kind of hold that supposed to make me stay still or caged me between his arms, but really a hug.

At that moment, my brother's body felt a little bit comfortable, warm and safe.

Unfortunately, that feeling just remained for seconds because Jonathan then released me and sprung off from the bed. Pulled me along with him.

"What are you doing?"

I jerked more because I was surprised as Jonathan suddenly held a tight grip around my wrist and started pulling me out of the room.

"Don't be panicked like that, Clarissa," he spoke with an amusement that made make stomach twisted rather than comfort me.

Everything which amused Jonathan Morgenstern was never had a good meaning for others.

I tried to free myself from his grip, but Jonathan was far too strong to be fought.

"I told you not to get panicked," he said impatiently as he pulled me down the stairs, "We have plans for today."

I couldn't see Jonathan's face but I heard a smile played in his voice, and it gave me a bad feeling. The worst one.

But I could do nothing. I could only let myself dragged by my brother, praying that whatever he'd planned for us, it won't hurt other people.

And I really hoped Magnus find a way to save me immediately.

I wished.


	7. Chapter 7 - Jocelyn and Valentine

**A/N : This chapter still happened in the past. Jonathan was planning something and Clary had to figure it out. Please enjoy. :)**

* * *

Part Seven – Jocelyn and Valentine

"We have plans, Little Sister," Jonathan said it with a faint smile played in his lips. He'd dragged me along the stairs and now we were standing right in front off the glass wall downstairs. It seemed like this whole side of this house were made of glass. I could see through the glass when the view outside blended into a colors whirl which I hardly caught its shape.

I knew I should have kept aware when Jonathan told me that he had plans for us, but something in his face made me lose a little bit fears that I felt at first.

He looked… sad?

Yes. Jonathan's expression were almost flat all the time, except when he were angry or despised other people, but this time, I saw a bit sadness in his pitch dark eyes.

All the time, I associated my brother with demons. But I thought demons didn't have sadness, even just a single bit. I had never saw demons with such a sad face.

Or maybe, that sadness was a trap to caught their prey.

I was about to opened my mouth when the view started to shaped, and I almost couldn't held myself not to jerked.

We were standing near the lake which I saw in Jonathan's dream.

Everything was just the same. A wide calm surface, the trees around it, and the same peace that covered this place. The difference was, now, the trees had lost all its leaves and snow were falling down from the sky. The water's surface looked so hard. It was frozen.

Winter, I thought, we were in the mid-winter.

Which winter?

"This is…" I couldn't finish my words. If I continued, it would seemed so suspicious.

"Idris."

Jonathan answered shortly. He looked at the view before us with a flat expression. As flat as a mask. Again, his eyes darkened till now I stared into a dark tunnel which started to become familiar in there.

"Wait here."

He turned around and left me. I guessed he went to second floor. Once he came back, he were holding two thick coats and scarfs. Without saying anything, he wrapped me with one of that coat, giving me a sign to plunged my arms in it. After that he put the scarf around my neck. Made it into a loop that wrapped my neck perfectly.

"You don't want your neck to freeze, do you?" he commented as he tightened the loop, "I think you still need it."

"Of course," I answered fiercely, "And you still need it to be strangled, don't you?"

Jonathan didn't answer. He'd finished with his works and was wearing his coat.

"What are we doing in Idris?" I asked right after he was ready. He stretched his arm to hold me and I tried to avoid. Unfortunately, he was faster than me. He held a tight grip in my wrist.

"There's something I wanna show you here."

I wanted to ask further, but I had a hunch that Jonathan wouldn't answer it so I didn't push my luck. I closed my eyes as we went through the portal.

My legs were a little bit swayed the first time I stepped upon the snow. There was a cold breeze blew all over us. Jonathan moved fast to hold and balance my body. I pulled away and hurriedly mumbling an apologize.

He just nodded.

At the time we went out, Valentine's house vanished from our sight. Now we were standing between the trees. It was so cold. The frozen wind blew and made me pulled my coat to tighten it.

Jonathan reached into his pocket and pulled out a stele.

"Draw the invisible and soundless," he asked, giving the stele to me. I looked up, stared at his eyes with a bit confusion.

"What for?"

In this white world, Jonathan's eyes were the darkest thing I could find. It seemed like a pair of black hole compared with the snow all around us.

"We're gonna stalk," he said, smiling. Once again, a sadness flashed in his face, "I don't want them to see us."

That explanation was enough for me. I didn't want anyone in Idris saw us for sure because I was with the most wanted people in this century after Valentine Morgenstern.

Or, had it happened? In which year exactly we were right now?

Carefully, I drew the runes under the fierce sight of Jonathan. My mind itself was wandering to the last time I had to draw the invisible rune in my skin.

Once again the figure of Valentine holding the whip went across my head.

Oh, I knew I wouldn't forget it.

After I'd done with Jonathan, I drew the runes in my skin. He asked me to draw other runes too and I obeyed. Had finished with mine, I gave back the stele to him for his use.

"Ready?"

My brother looked down, stared at me, questioning. I could see his hand gripped the sword which hid beneath his coat.

"I think," I answered not really sure, "I have no idea I should be ready for what."

Jonathan chose to ignore it. He just held my wrist and lead me into the woods. Away from the lake.

"We were outside Alicante," Jonathan explained as we walked even though I didn't ask, "Not far from my house."

I didn't know what to say, so I just nodded. Of course I didn't say that I'd already knew about that.

"In which year?" I asked as I tried to match his steps. It was quite difficult due to the snow. Luckily, he walked slowly so I didn't left behind too far.

"Quite far before I even born."

Now we came into an opened area. The ground was a little bit down, forming a huge dent in the middle of the wood. Strange, there was no snow here. The ground was still covered by a dark brown carpet of soil.

Jonathan stopped right in the snow border. I stood still next to him. my brother's gaze focused to a point as if he was waiting for something.

I followed his gaze, trying to see through the trees. I wondered about the thing we were waiting for.

Did we wait for people whom we were about to stalk?

Some minutes passed, and I hadn't see anything yet. I started to feel impatient.

It was so irritating, to wait for something that we didn't know exactly what it is. I was about to ask when my ears caught something and I was back in my silence.

A girl. I heard a girl laugh. Not so clear, indeed, but I knew there were people who were heading toward us right now. At least, there was a girl.

Next to me, Jonathan's body stiffened. He didn't realize it, but his grip in my wrist was also tightened.

I had no doubt anymore, they were people whom we'd wait.

I watched with wide eyes as I find two figures were moving toward us.

My heart sank.

This is impossible! I yelled inside my mind.

Right now I was watching myself and Jonathan walked into the opened area. We seemed as if were talking about something funny because I once again heard a laugh as myself laughed right there across the area.

It couldn't be! Once again I thought. I didn't remember had ever walked with him here. Moreover, I didn't think I'd ever laugh at him in that way.

It took seconds for me before I remember that Jonathan said we were in the time before he even born.

As that figures came closer, I found out that they weren't me and Jonathan.

"Mom?" I couldn't held myself not to hissed, realizing that my mother was standing not so far from me. The younger version of her.

Yes. Right there across the area, they weren't me and Jonathan, but rather our parents. Jocelyn Fairchild and Valentine Morgenstern.

I looked at Valentine, feeling quite amazed.

That people were right. I and Jonathan really looked like our parents.

Valentine looked exactly like Jonathan. Or maybe Jonathan looked like Valentine. They both had a fair blonde hair, a tall muscular body, the eye color which was perfectly dark, and the nose which would make the models felt jealous. The differences were just the jawline and hairstyle. The other things was just the same.

Right beside Valentine, my mother walked casually. Her pitch dark coat made a contrast with the white snow. Her hair flared like fire while her eyes shone so bright. She looked happy.

They seemed so happy.

"So," as they reach the area, my mother leaned toward one of the huge tree and stared at Valentine with a sight that could only described as a loving sight. The rest of her words couldn't be caught by my ears.

Valentine, I could see he returned my mother's gaze with the same gaze, a gaze which made my stomach twisted.

He nodded and said something I couldn't hear.

"You and Lucian are so closed," My mother said a little bit louder and now I could hear her. She smiled gently.

"We," valentine corrected her, "We are so closed."

Jocelyn laughed once again as Valentine pulled her into his embrace and lightly kissed her lips.

With a little bit jealousy, I watched as my father kissed my mother. They weren't so different in height. My mother didn't need to raise her body so high, and my father didn't had to bow so low also. They fit in easily. Not like I and Jace.

As I thought about that, Jocelyn pulled away and now Valentine was looking at her with a full-minded gaze.

"Jocelyn Fairchild," suddenly Valentine called her name seriously, "Would you dance with me?"

Valentine's voice was firm and full with confidence. It sounded fluently with a bold accents. Jonathan did tell me that Morgenstern had German blood. Maybe that was the origin of that accents.

People often said about how charming Valentine was, and all that things were right. Not only his handsome face that could melted our heart, but also his aura. It seemed like he always control everything around him, as if he knew every single thing which would happen.

Firm and with no doubt.

It also happened when he stretched his arm toward my mother as he knelt down like some prince in the tales.

"Now?" I saw my mother laughed, "Are you kidding me? There's no…"

Like he had guessed my mother's thought, Valentine rose his eyebrows and clicked his fingers. At that time, we heard a soft songs. So fine as if it caressed our ears and invited us to dance with them.

Jocelyn gasped. She then looked up and laugh louder.

I followed her gaze, trying to look through glamours.

Up there, the snow feys sang. They danced, moved from one branch onto another, as soft as the wind blew. Their long white hair flapped as they moved.

That feys sang the winter songs. The soft and pure one like the snow, also gloomy and captivating.

"How could they obey human's order?" I hissed to myself in disbelief.

"Please tell me," Jocelyn's voice drew back my attention to them. She put her hand in Valentine's and let him lead her to the area, "What kind of thing that you unable to do, Valentine Morgenstern?"

My parents slid upon the ground as easy as if they were walking on the floor. Valentine's arms circled in Jocelyn's waist while my mother put her hands in his shoulder. They moved and spun in a beautiful rhyme.

"There's one thing I couldn't have yet," Valentine said softly in Jocelyn's ears. I had no idea how I could hear that, "You know what it is?"

Well, at least now I knew where from Jonathan got his speaking style. Amazed, I realized that Valentine spoke in a very same way with Jonathan did. Just that, when Jonathan spoke, you would caught a single darkness in him. while when you were listening to Valentine, you would feel melted even though his tone was soft and cold like the north wind.

I watched carefully as my mother sloped her head. Her eyes showed us that she completely had no idea.

Valentine tilted his head and whispered something which I couldn't hear. All I knew was my mother blushed and her face almost became as red as her hair, then she tilted down her head. Seemed so speechless or something like that.

"Father ask your mother to marry him."

I almost jumped when Jonathan talked in a sudden. I was consumed with the scene in front of me till I forgot that he was still there beside me. He even still held my wrist.

"How do you know?" I asked in an instance because I heard nothing. Impossible for him to caught Valentine's words.

"I've been here before," he answered with a tense, still looking at our parents for some minutes before turned his gaze to me. For a brief moment his eyes looked void, but the next second he was smiling at me, "You want to dance too, Clarissa?"

What? What did he say?

"What?" I yelled in surprise, "Oh, no, thanks."

I'd seen how my father and my mother danced and I couldn't imagine I had to be in that position with my brother.

"Come on," Jonathan said teasingly, "You can't hear anything from here. You should come closer."

Then, without waited for my answer, he pulled me into the area. I had no choice but followed him.

My brother put one of his hand upon my shoulder, and the other held my fingers. He pulled me to move with the faery's song.

"You've been here before?" I confirmed to him. I still couldn't hear my parents conversation cause they were whispering to each others.

Jonathan nodded. He spun me once before pulled me back into his arms.

"Not so long after that battle night, I found the house and accidentally brought here," he laughed softly, cynically as if he laughed at himself, "A little tease from that house."

I frowned.

"That house brought you here?" I asked a little bit louder. The way he spoke sounded like that house had its own will to move wherever it wants.

"Not exactly like that," he replied. Also frowned. He sloped his head, then spun me. Now he were facing our parents, "I just didn't know where to go, and then I arrived here."

I breathed in relieve hearing his answer.

At first, I thought that dancing with Jonathan would seem so weird and uncomfortable, but in fact, it felt so normal and right. Just as normal as laying my head upon the pillow after a tiring day. We spun once again, and now I could see my parents. They still danced not far from us. Jonathan pulled me along with him and we moved closer toward them so we could hear their conversation.

Okay, if my mother knew I overheard her conversation, she would be so angry. So it would be better if she never knew that I watched this scene.

The faery's song was slow and soft. Maybe Valentine was deliberately making a romantic atmosphere.

"So," I could hear Valentine spoke, bent a little toward my mother so he could speak right in her ears, "What do you think, Jocelyn?"

"About what?" my mother answered teasingly.

"What do you think about changing your name?"

I watched Valentine as he spun my mother, and pulled her back. His motion was identically same as Jonathan's, just that, Jonathan's was more graceful. Maybe demon's blood also increased his grace. He's always move as light as feathers, as sharp as swords.

"Change my name?" my mother stare right at Valentine's eyes. Emeralds met onyx, "What do you mean?"

Valentine laughed softly.

"Do you want to change your name to Jocelyn Moergenstern instead of Jocelyn Faichild?"

All at sudden, the silence fell among the four of us. There was no sound but the faery's songs. Even not the sound of our steps although we were still dancing.

I realized that I was holding my breath, turned my neck so that I could see my parents from where I stood while I waited for her answer.

Slowly, I saw my mother's expression changed as the happiness and love lightened up her face. She stopped and they were standing still. Hug each others.

"I think…" she answered slowly. Her eyes were still at Valentine's face. He looked back at my mother with such an intense gaze. Tough It felt odd, I saw it clearly, love that lied there in Valentine dark eyes. Love that been aimed to my mother. Then, for the first time, I could understand why there was a closet full of clothes for my mother in Valentine's Apartment. He did hope that someday my mother would come back to him, and they could be together again like they did in this time.

"My name can't be better than that, can it?

I even didn't see Valentine breathed a sigh of relieve when Jocelyn rose her eyebrows and smile, accepting his proposal.

I knew, man usually feeling nervous when propose to their girlfriends, but that didn't happen to Valentine. He asked my mother to marry him as if he asked for something simple like accompanying him in a walk. That wasn't because he loved my mother less, everyone could saw the opposite thing when they watched him looking at my mother, but it because Valentine was so sure about Jocelyn's love for him.

And he wasn't wrong at all.

"Definitely."

Valentine's words sounded so firm. He then bowed and landed a strong-willed kiss in Jocelyn's lips.

Meanwhile, I was the one who sighed in relieve. Though I'd already knew what kind of misfortune that awaited them in the future, I couldn't help but happy for them. You know, you couldn't stop yourself from feeling warm in your heart when you saw two people looking at each others in the way Jocelyn and Valentine did.

Against my will, I looked up and faced Jonathan. My brother looked back at me. Now I saw something in there. Something strange and I couldn't define it.

If only Valentine didn't become crazier, we would definitely be happier than now. We wouldn't trapped into this situation where we couldn't trust each other and always tried to hurt each other.

My eyes felt numb and I hurriedly avoided Jonathan's gaze, blinked several times to prevent the tears that about to come.

I couldn't cry now.

I felt Jonathan's hand moved and pulled my head to lean against his chest. His move felt like a genuine expression of caring and love. It felt like, he was really my brother and he understood how I felt.

He was the one who understand my feeling right now.

A drop of tear fell and ran down along my cheek.

Right at that time, Valentine's voice came into my ears as if it poked my mind. I could caught neither the beginning of that sentence, nor the ending. Just one word went through my confused mind.

"…Stephen…"

My heart missed one of its beat when I heard Stephen's name. As if something knocked a door in my mind, suddenly I lost my sadness. I pulled my head away from Jonathan's chest and stumbled. I believed I would fell down if it wasn't Jonathan who held me tight.

Stephen. Stephen Herondale. Jace's father.

It seemed like my brother realized the reason why I lost my balance. He tilted his head and looked at my eyes intensely. The familiar darkness shown there.

"Recognize a name, Little Sister?"

Suddenly, everything didn't felt so right anymore. Jonathan's hand in my shoulder, his body that pressed toward mine, and his grip that now was tightened around my hand.

Jace's face burst into my mind like a flood that hit the embankment. The walls that trapped my mind in this time suddenly collapsed.

How could I, even for just a second, forgot about Jace?

If valentine didn't get more evil than now, my mother and Luke would never turn to fight against him, Luke would still be a shadowhunter, and Stephen Herondale would still married to Amatis instead with Celine.

It means, Jace would never born.

Never.

Horrors rushed into my veins as I imagined my world without Jace in it. I returned Jonathan's gaze and felt the fears which once disappeared, came back into my mind.

"I think," I said slowly, watched Jonathan's expression which now covered by a dark clouds. We'd already stopped our dance, "We should leave."

Fast, I pulled myself away from Jonathan and stepped back.

Next second, I hit something. I turned around and realized that I'd just hit Valentine.

As if it came from a great distance, I heard my mother gasped. She jumped back and pulled out a seraph blade.

I knew they couldn't see me, but I hit Valentine, and clearly, he could feel it.

I watched Valentine who'd been more fast. He'd already pull his blade and swung it toward me.

With a terrible horror, I closed my eyes and found myself dragged back and hit the ground.

Tangggg!

The sounds of clashing swords made me jerk. My eyes was wide opened to find Jonathan was standing in front of me, defensing me from Valentine's blade.

"Step aside!" he barked at me.

In a blink of an eye, I realized that he was protecting me. I rose immediately and stepped aside, watching them with a little bit fear as Valentine pulled his blades and stoke again.

One thing I found out was Valentine really couldn't see us so his strike were not really well aimed. But he wasn't Valentine Morgenstern if he didn't have a wonderful intuition.

"Show yourselve!" Valentine yelled as he stop his strike for a moment. That man who would be my father stood full with awareness. His eyes scanned all the direction and I could see him listened carefully. Trying to find a single sound. The faery's songs had stopped, "Whatever you are, face me!"

I heard him and started to understand why so many people wanted to be his followers. His loud voice sounded like it contained a spell that made you think you had to obey him.

"Should we listened to him?" I asked Jonathan who was standing before Valentine. Still holding his sword tightly. His eyes now widened, fixed at Valentine. His expression was full with vigilance.

"Don't!" Jonathan yelled at me without releasing his gaze from Valentine. Anger covered his face and made it darkened, but I could see that he enjoyed it. It was scary to see a slight of peace in his eyes when he had to face a battle, "You don't wanna know what kind of wrath aimed to them who dare to change the past."

Not so far from Valentine's back, Jocelyn stood as aware as he did. She slowly stepped back till her back was pressed against Valentine's.

They were protecting each others, I thought bitterly. Did they know that someday they would hurt each others?

"Stay on your place, don't make any single move!" again, Jonathan ordered me and I obeyed him. valentine didn't able to see or hear us, but he could see when things around us moved as we touched, nudged, or maybe stepped on it.

I kept an eye of my brother carefully. It felt so strange to had him and Valentine faced one another like that. Moreover, they looked as they had no difference in age. Valentine was just a little bit higher than Jonathan, and a little bit muscular. Valentine's white hair was short and neat while Jonathan let his hair grew long enough to touched his ears, falling down softly upon his forehead. Furthermore, they showed the same gestures and also same strong motion. I notice that with a slight amazement. My father had trained Jonathan well.

Once again Valentine looked around him carefully, then he darted forward. Right toward Jonathan.

I screamed as Jonathan's and Valentine's sword clashed over and over again. They strength seemed to be equal. Valentine was a bit stronger, but no one could match Jonathan's speed and agility. My brother nearly smiled as he avoided Valentine's strike. His eyes shone with a wild joy.

I watched them and couldn't help myself but felt frustrated.

Why didn't Jonathan give me a weapon?

Okay, maybe he didn't trust me enough to give me a weapon, but now I really wanted to fight.

I wished I could fight. I knew he didn't need my help, but still, I felt so weaponless and it made me sick.

"Jonathan!" I screamed loudly as Valentine stroke with all his strength, pushed my brother against a giant tree. Their swords clashed just an inch from his face.

"Run, Clarissa!" he yelled at me. His voice full with anger which wasn't aimed toward me, "Go away! Now!"

"But…" I opened my mouth to argue.

Here wasn't our time. I couldn't just left him in there. What if we couldn't find each other after we separated?

"Go!" he yelled again before I could finish my words, "Now!"

I stepped back in surprise.

Jonathan seemed so sure about his order so without waiting for his next order I retreated from that place.

I ran, leaving my brother, my father, and my mother far behind.


	8. Chapter 8 - They Will Definitely Save Me

Part Eight – They Will Definitely Save Me

I knew neither how fast I ran, nor where I was heading to. All I knew was the trees flashed around me as I ran through the bare woods. Cold wind hit my face and blew my hair away.

Idris in winter was a beautiful place. I realized that when Jonathan brought me to the place where we saw our parents, but now, I could only feel the winds pricked my skin with its cold sensation and the deathly atmosphere caused by white snow.

Now I reached a wide area covered with snow. Maybe it supposed to be a meadow.

_For deaths and mourning the colors white_

_White silks when our bodies burn_

The piece of shadowhunter's poem slipped into my mind.

White. White. White.

All around me everything were white. My coat was the only dark thing here as I ran across the snowfield. My hair flapped, brighter than ever.

My brother was fighting against my father.

I noticed that with a strange feeling, considering the fact that I was the one whom he wanted to kill before. Jonathan was the one whom he raised to be a weapon.

Jonathan protected me.

That fact hit me with even more strange sensation. He not only couldn't kill me easily, but he even saved me from valentine.

It was really really weird.

I'd reached the end of the snowfield and entered the woods. My legs started to felt numb and my chest burned every time I took a breath. I stopped, panting heavily as I tried to catch my breath. I hid myself between two huge trees.

Slowly, my breath became easy and no longer burned my chest. I leaned myself against the trunk and looked at the gloomy sky.

I don't know where was I. Everything looked just the same. I lost in the middle of white that covered Idris.

Srek! Srek! Srek!

I just got my breath steady when I heard a sound of someone went closer.

My heart sank as my body tensed. I enforced myself and listened carefully.

"Clarissa!" suddenly Jonathan showed up from behind me and grabbed my arm. With one jolt he got me stood up and dragged me to keep running, "We have to go back right now!"

Without asking I'd already knew that Valentine was still chasing us. I could faintly heard his footsteps. Not so far behind us.

"He can't see us, right?" I asked. Trying not to slower my steps. I could hear a doubt in my own voice.

"Yes," my brother answered as calm as if he was standing still instead of running. He didn't lose his breath at all, "But he can see our footprint."

I couldn't handle myself not to curse.

Right. The snow made our footprint showed as clear as if we drew a red line for Valentine.

You know, actually, it was very ironic. This scene looked so alike with the one in Jonathan's dream last night. Just that, now Valentine was younger and he chased us without knowing that we were his own children.

I felt like I'd never been more relieved than the time I saw that lake. We were close with Valentine's house.

I and Jonathan wasn't slowing down. I let him lead us toward the portal which only known by him and God. I even didn't realize when we went through the portal. All I knew was, one second I still ran upon the snow, then the next second we were in the house. Rarely caught a breath after stopped in a sudden, almost hit the table.

As I tried to calmed myself, I saw Valentine behind the glass wall. He stopped a few steps before the portal. He looked so annoyed with disbelief. I imagined him looking at our footprint which vanished as if we just evaporate. Valentine then stepped carefully toward the end of our footprint.

"He can't come into this house, can he?" I asked in panic. I still panted. I looked at Jonathan which now was standing still next to me, he stared at valentine too. His eyes full with awareness.

"No," he said shortly. His gaze still fixed at Valentine when a figures in dark coat showed up from Valentine's back.

"Where are they?" my mother inquired swiftly. Her eyes scanned around her, but went through us just easily, "The footprint couldn't just ended like that. Did they create a portal?"

Valentine shook his head. He still looked around, ready for every single motion.

"I don't know."

Valentine's gaze stopped for a moment at us, but I was quite sure he was looking at the emptiness before him.

My mother looked at him with a bit worry. Carefully, she touched Valentine's arm, "Let's go. They must be far away by now."

Valentine moved his neck and returned her gaze with grim. I knew he was still thinking about us. However, he didn't refuse. He circled his arm around my mother's shoulder before turned around.

"Come on. Lucian must be looking for us."

Without saying any single word, they went away, left us who was sighing in relieved.

Okay, I was the one who sighed in relieved. Jonathan didn't make a single move. He kept watching our parents till they disappear from our sight.

"Why?" finally I asked after some minutes passed by and no one of us moved or even talked, "Why did you show me that scene?"

My question drew his attention to me. He looked down at me. His eyes were undefined.

"There's no particular reason," a faint smile flashed through my brother's lips. His pale cheeks now blushed due to the cold wind and running, "Just wondering, what do you think, Little Sister?"

My eyes widened.

If he thought I would believed that, then he clearly had no idea how far I knew him.

Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern would never showed something to other people just to know their opinion. Never. There must be something else behind his act right now.

I knew he was thinking about something, or worse, he was planning something.

I had to tell Magnus about it.

Immediately.

_I'd tried to reach you all day long, you know?_

Magnus sounded annoyed when I finally could talk to him.

_I had to spend my precious breaths to tell Jace that You're okay, that the only reason why I couldn't reach you was simply because you didn't think of me. Poor me, he completely didn't believe it, that you don't spend your day asking for our help._

I smirked.

I was back in my room. It'd already dark outside and I'd just finished a silent dinner with Jonathan who almost didn't say a word after we got back from that place where we met Valentine and Jocelyn. It did seemed like he was planning something.

_I'm okay, Magnus_, I answered. Now I understood that I didn't have to speak aloud. He could still hear me.

_Where are you now?_

_Idris._

I rolled, looking at the view of snowy night outside my window. From inside my room, I could faintly see that lake, the one I saw in Jonathan's dream.

_Did you have some fun with your brother?_

Magns tone was teasing, but maybe I just imagined it.

_Strangely__**,**_ I said with an unfocused mind. Again, I thought about the scene which I saw today, _I can't say no, even though I can't say that I had some fun either._

_So, it turns out that he's a talented womanizer._

_Or maybe he's just trying to incite me_, I answered bitterly, _one of those things must be true. Whatever it is, it can never be a good news if we talk about my brother._

There was a moment of silence before Magnus spoke again and he sounded surprised.

_What did you say just that?_

I rolled my eyes, _which one?_ I asked. Felt a little bit annoyed, _the part where I said that maybe he's just trying to incite me?_

_No, not that. But the part where you said, "it can never be a good news if we talked about MY BROTHER."_

Magnus raised his tone, mimicking a girl's voice. You should know, that was annoying.

_Oh, I'd never know that you are also Valentine's son. Last time I heard that your father is the prince of hell._

_Not funny,_ he sulked, _although Valentine was as evil as demons, still not funny. At least my father is a noble._

_Oh yeah,_ I rose from my position and moved toward the window. I pressed my forehead against the cold glass, _in other words, I have no differences with demon's daughter._

_That's not bad, just for your information._

I wanted to regret about saying that words to him, but his teasing made it hard to do.

_What's the matter if I said that he's my brother?_

Magnus laughed softly,_ I remember you said that you wanted to get him killed, so why do you even call him a brother now?_

I tilted my head.

It was very quiet around me. There wasn't any sound at all. It was so different with my head that felt so crowded even tough there were just me and Magnus in there.

Let me tell you, it turned out that our head is very very narrow. Just add one person there, then you would feel everything was too full and crowded.

_Today I saw my parents,_ I reported, _right when Valentine asked my mother to marry him._

Magnus whistled.

_I guessed it's the most romantic scene you've ever seen._

_Yeah. If I didn't keep on imagining how they would hate each others someday._

_Nothing lasts forever in this world._

Magnus voice sounded full of irony. I was sure it because he'd knew what kind of thing that became the exception of the theory of mortality.

Warlock, Fey, and Vampires. They are the exceptions.

_There will always be some exceptions,_ I replied tiredly, _always, Magnus._

_You tell me._

I chose not to respond his words and looked at the darkness outside my window. The silhouette of things out there seemed a little bit clear due to my dark room. I had turn the light off before calling Magnus.

Does Jonathan always live like this? Amid the silence like this? I've seen the house where he'd been raised and that house was more quiet than this house. How it felt to be raised in the huge mansion alone? The only person he'd ever met was Valentine. Not a big surprise if he grew up to be a psychopath. Or was that the natural trait of demons?

My mother had ever told me that Valentine couldn't handle the demons inside Jonathan. Was my brother really that bad? Or maybe he became like that because of what Valentine did to him?

Something stabbed my heart and I had to closed my eyes to repressed the feeling of loneliness which suddenly rushed in my mind.

So many question kept on popped up every time I think of my brother. He was just like an egg, covered himself with a fragile barrier. You could never pierced that barrier using a rough way. You could try, and you would just broke him. He would explode, and you got nothing.

Then I realized something.

I knew that I was afraid. I was afraid if I let my guard against him down, then I would love him. Because however he is my brother. I was afraid because that's completely wrong. So wrong because he was the bad guy. But, in other side, if I let my feeling controlled me, even just for a moment, that love would felt right.

It really made me scared.

_Earth to Clary,_ suddenly I heard Magnus called me, _you hear me, Clary?_

_Yes,_ I sighed. At first I really wanted to speak with him, but now I just wanted to be left alone, _what do you want, Magnus?_

_To be honest, I really want the latest edition book of spell which only sold in the black market, but for now, I need to know what you did today._

_I've told you, we followed Valentine._

_All day long?_

I could imagined Magnus raised his eyebrows when he said that words. His voice showed a clear disbelief.

_Well, you can say so. We went to Idris, watched my parents romantic scene, then suddenly Valentine found out about us and started to strike. Jonathan protected me as I ran away. After that we went back and then he's been consumed by his mind. You know, it make me got a bad feeling. I think he is hiding something right now._

_Who?_

_Who what?_ I replied. Did not understand what Magnus mean with his question.

_Who was the one that protected you?_

_Who protected me? Of course Jonathan._

Magnus paused in a long time and made me lost my patience.

_Magnus!_

_You sounded as if he'd brainwashed you, Clary._ Magnus answered a bit louder. _I think you are right. Maybe he's trying to incite you right now. He wants you in his side. That's why he showed you that scene. Are there anything else he showed to you?_

Magnus loud voice made me fell silent. I lifted my feet and inched toward the bed's head. I sat there, hugging my own legs, and laid my head upon my knees.

_I'd dug my own grave pit, Magnus,_ I said softly, letting my tears flew down along with my decision to tell him everything.

_I came into Jonathan's dream._

There was another silence.

_I should have known,_ when Magnus responded to my words, I could hear that he was annoyed. _What did you see?_

_A nightmare._

_I hope so._

_Magnus!_ I jerked, lifted my head. _I saw Valentine tortured him, and.. oh… I really feel bad. I think, come into someone's dream not only change the owner of that dream, but also the intruder. I can't forget what I've seen there. Every time I look at my brother, I see valentine. I'm really scared of him. I'm afraid if I let myself unguarded, even for a brief moment, he would make me completely bound to him. and the most scary thing is that everything felt so right._

I heard Magnus took a deep breath.

_Okay, now you call him your brother and you feel like you are about to be bound to him. I think it's really a bad news. Especially for Jace._

Jace!

Hearing Magnus said Jace's name felt just the same as if he hit me right in my face.

_Oh, no!_ I groaned in frustration. _If I really bound to him, I think I can never face Jace anymore. How could I look at his face and tell him that now I am bound to Jonathan?_

I knew my mind started to lose control. I screamed hysterically and Magnus realized that.

_Calm down, Clary,_ he said softly, _I will save you immediately. Now, after I know your location, it will be so easy._

I jerked and lifted up my head.

_Really? You can save me?_

Magnus agreed my question with a small laugh, _but I have to be fast, Clary. As long as you haven't move…_

_Sssshhh!_ I hissed to stop Magnus. I heard something from outside my room.

_No one can hear me but you, remember?_

_Yes_, I replied as I listened carefully, _but I need my ears, Magnus. Someone is coming into this house. Many people. I hear noises downstairs._

_Who do you think will come at this time?_

Magnus was teasing me. I knew that.

_I have no idea,_ I replied bluntly. _Whoever they are, Jonathan is the one who invite them. I think it's not a good news._

_It seems that you are quite smart._

Now I was sure, there were so many people down there. Their voices flew through the walls and reached me in a vague buzz.

Then, I heard one sound which made my stomach twisted.

I heard a footsteps reaching towards my door.

_Someone's coming_, I hissed as I slipped into my blanket.

_I am leaving you._ Magnus said with a stern voice. _I'll gather people to pick you up. Don't stop thinking of me, Clary._

If I was in a normal condition, Magnus words would make me laugh. It sounded like he was seducing me. But, considering that the situation now is very urgent, I said nothing but agreement.

I pulled my blanket to my chin right when someone turned the door handle and stepped into the darkness of my room.

_Magnus?_ I called but he'd already disappear. That was perfect, so I could concentrate with my situation here.

I tried to calm my breath down, then I closed my eyes, pretending as if I was sleeping. Not so easy because right now my heart was pounding hard in my chest. Maybe it was better if I pretend that I had a nightmare.

I felt someone was standing right beside my bed. That person looked down, and silence filled the room.

One minute passed by. That person still hadn't move yet.

Two minutes.

I started to feel uncomfortable, but I couldn't make a suspicious motion.

Finally, after three minutes that felt like a century, the person who was standing beside my bed took a deep breath. I heard the sound of some fabric rubbing against each others followed by a very familiar sensation in my arm.

Cold. A touch in my arm felt cold. I didn't have to see to know who was touching me.

A moment later, in the same arm as where that cold sensation touched me, I felt a sting. The familiar one.

I opened my eyes in an instance, forgeting the fact that I was pretending as I was sleeping. I wanted to pull my arm, but it was too late.

Close to my face, I saw Jonathan's face. He was still holding my hand with one of his hand. While the other one was holding a stele. He'd just finished a rune.

I looked at him with terrors filled my eyes as my body weakened and became unmoved.

Jonathan had just draw a paralytic runes in my arm. Now my body had no difference with a broken-rope-marionette.

No! I screamed in frustration, but that scream never reached my lips. I stared right at him with wide eyes.

_What did you do?_ I wanted to barked, but I couldn't. I thought he understood even I didn't say it out loud. My eyes must have said everything.

"Clarisse," my brother finally spoke sadly. In the dark, his eyes looked as if it reflected the moonlight. Just like the lake out there.

I remembered how he spoke in my head, so I tried to think about him, and then yelled at him. Screamed my protest into his head.

_What did you do?!_

Jonathan made a single jerk with his chin, but there was no other sign that he was surprised I could reach him.

"I have plans to do, Clarissa," he smiled faintly, "This time, I wanna make sure that both you and my plans are safe."

_What do you mean?_

Jonathan sat in the edge of my bed. Still looking at my face with such an undefined gaze. He stretched out his hand and touched strands of my hair. He removed it from my face with a touch which was as light as feathers.

"Do you know, Clarissa," he said calmly, "That every rune leaves a mark in our body?"

I didn't reply. Still trying to guess what did he mean with his question.

Jonathan sighed once, then he pulled off his shirt.

My eyes widened in surprise.

_Does it really necessary?_

Jonathan ignored me. Instead of that, he touched and wiped his chest slowly.

"I have so many runes marks in my body," he said as if I'd never said anything, "But I don't remember this one, and this one."

Now I realized, Jonathan was touching the runes marks Which I drew in the night I came into his dream. Then, the understanding came into my mind in such a way that would make my body tremble if it could.

"I had ever bear runes from you, Clarissa, and my body recognize these runes as yours," my brother tilted his head again and looked straight at my eyes.

"If you wanna know," he said with a soft tone. I'd never heard he used it before, "You felt so warm in my dream, when you hug me like that."

Jonathan once again stretched his hand and touched my face with his fingertips. Went along my jawline toward my chin.

"I know, Clarissa. You came into my dream," a melancholy hue covered Jonathan's face, "I'm sorry you had to see that."

So, he knew! A real shock rushed into my mind. He knew. All day long…

"But I'm glad," this time I heard a shiver of joy in Jonathan's voice, " I'm no longer alone. That was the opposite of what my father always said, but I think I do want to hear that."

I blinked.

He really remember that. Was that the idea which bother his mind all day long?

"I know," he continued, made me shivered, "I have my army. They will be ready to fight till death."

My body was still paralyzed, but if it could move, I was sure I would be trembling hardly.

"And there's you, Clarissa," he smiled at me. His smile was filled with an evil joy, "Like I'd said, this world will be surrender beneath our feet. You and me, My Little Sister."

_I don't want that!_ I blurted wildly. _I will never let you destroy my world!_

"Ah! Ah!," he chuckled, "Your world, Clarissa, your world. Not mine. Now I will create our world. You don't have to be worried."

If I could, I wanted to shut my eyes closed because suddenly I felt the heaviness in my head.

_Why?_ I asked, feeling a real fatigue crept in my voice. _Why do you want to destroy the world?_

Jonathan looked at me with a blazing gaze. If I could see the heavenly fire in Jace's eyes, in Jonathan's eyes I saw a demon's fire. Hot and burned everything mercilessly. He hissed.

"Do you think I have a place in this world, Clarissa?" he said with a vengeance, "This world ruled by the clave, and there's no place for them who have a thought against them. I will create a pure world. Free from the clave's grip. Free from them who don't deserve the nephilim's power."

I was shocked. A deep grudge reflected in his words. No one could ever stop him, I knew that. Only death could stop him.

The thing was, could I watch him being killed?

_Magnus!_ I screamed. This time my scream wasn't aimed to Jonathan._ Where are you, Magnus?!_

_On my way, Clary._

Fulled with relieved, I listened to Magnus voice as Jonathan caressed the side of my face.

"You know, Clarissa," he said slowly, "I know you are thinking about that Angel Boy right now."

Jonathan's words about Jace caught my attention, but I forced myself to think about Magnus.

_Hurry up!_ I yelled. _Come here!_

_I'll be there immediately._

"Do not bother calling him," Jonathan continued. His hand felt cold as he rubbed my cheeks, "You won't see him again."

_Magnus!_ Now I practically screamed. It was hard for me to concentrate while Jonathan told me the possibilities that I couldn't see Jace anymore._ When will you really come here?!_

At that time, all what I felt was Jonathan bent and brushed his lips toward my cheek. So smooth and careful.

"Wait here, Clarissa," he said softly. His breath hit my face, "I'll come to pick you up, and that time, you'll be the first person to hear the good news, that the world finally free from tha Clave's grip."

I was dazzled. Very very dazzled till I wanted to puke. As if from a great distance I heard Magnus returned my call.

_Now, Clary._

The next thing I felt was a tremor.

This house was shaking as if someone was drilling the walls in order to broke it.

* * *

**That's all for now. I am writing the last two chapter right now and I hope I could post it as soon as possible. :)**


	9. Chapter 9 - My Brother

**Finally! I could make it. These are the last two chapters.**

**Thank you for all the reviews. I'm so sorry for the typos or maybe all the grammar mistakes. I'd double checked it but clearly I'm still lack in grammar. I still have to improve my english skill.**

**Hope you enjoy these chapters. :))**

* * *

**Part Nine – My Brother**

This house was shaking, and that wasn't just my imagination because Jonathan pulled away from me in an instance. He stepped back as he pulled out his sword. The same sword as before. The one he used to protected me from Valentine. It was the black one with a sign of star in the handle.

This time, that sword would be held against my friends.

"Sometimes you're just being too confidence, right?"

I heard a familiar voice. That voice was the one I would definitely recognize even in my worst nightmare. The voice which never failed to make me felt as there were so many butterflies in my stomach.

Jace! That was Jace's voice!

I wanted to turned around and looked at Jace, but I couldn't move my neck at all. I could only stared at Jonathan as his expression became so angry. I guessed it because of Jace's appearance. I imagined him jumped into this room, out from nowhere.

"How could you…" Jonathan opened his mouth but then his eyes widened. He saw something, "It must be you Magnus Bane."

"Hello," I heard humors in Magnus voice. Now he wasn't in my head, "It's good to see you again."

Now I understood. Magnus must be sent Jace and the others first, then he followed.

Jonathan turned his head to me. He looked as if he could kill me anytime, but when he spoke, his voice was cold.

"I guess, my sweet little sister had guided you here, right?"

His gazed drilled into mine with an awesome strength.

Just in a flash, I saw some feelings in Jonathan's eyes before the darkness drowned it into an endless tunnels.

A same feelings as when we talked about our mother. Anger, hatred, and betrayal.

If all this day I'd felt Jonathan so close to me, now I felt him slipped through my grip again. Back into his old self, a heartless demon.

_Don't hurt them!_ I yelled at Jonathan.

_But they're gonna hurt me, Little Sister,_ his voice colored by an evil humor as he replied me_. And you'll gonna let them, won't you?_

After that, Jonathan stroke.

Noo! I screamed, but that was useless. Jonathan had already disappear from my sight.

"Graymark!"

I heard his loud voice echoed around this house. I also heard the sound of swords clashing one another. Many people burst into this room. I could tell from their noises.

Who's he calling right that? Does Amatis still alive?

No! No! the dark shadowhunters had gathered downstairs. They'd came into this room!

Magnus! Jace!

I kept on screaming but I realized that everything was pointless. Jace could never hear my voice, so did Magnus. The spell which connected us had no longer worked out. He was focusing himself to the battle. There was no time for a conversation.

Magnus!

I yelled in frustration.

I felt someone grabbed my arm till now I was facing him. But he wasn't Magnus or even Jace.

"Clary," Simon exclaimed my name, half worried and half relieved, "For God's sake! What did he do to you?"

Simon! I yelled to tell him, but of course he couldn't hear me. Simon! Simon! Scratch the rune in my arm!

I knew Simon wasn't a shadowhunter, he was a vampire, so he wouldn't immediately understand that my condition was caused by a rune.

Oh my God! Someone, please tell my friend to scratch the paralytic rune in my arm!

And it turned out that Isabelle was the one who understood my thought even I didn't say it out loud.

"The rune!" he pushed one dark shadowhunter and stormed toward me and Simon, "There must be a rune which paralyzed her! Find that rune!"

If I could move, I would have kissed Izzy.

"Yeah, of course," Simon mumbled in a low voice as he search around my face and my neck, "It's so easy for me to find that rune. So easy. I just wish I know how it looked like."

Isabelle hissed fiercely. She checked on my arms. Her sharp eyes found it at the first sight.

"This is it!" she exclaimed as she brought her sword to my arms. The sharp side pointed to my skin. She was about to scratch the rune when her motion was stopped by Simon.

"What are you doing?!" he barked, "I mean, with that sword…"

"I'm not gonna cut her hand or something like that, Moron!" Isabelle replied as fierce as Simon was, "I have to break this rune so Clary can move freely."

While saying that words, Izzy scratch my skin with her sword and broke the rune.

When that swords sliced my skin, I felt a cold sting. Just like the sensation when I draw runes with a stele, but this was the cold ones and made bloods trickled down along my arm.

Slowly I could felt my body then I pulled my arm from Izzy's grip. It didn't supposed to make her startled, just that, my body was moved so easily and I couldn't decide how much power I supposed to use when I pulled it.

"Thank's God," Izzy put aside her sword and hug me lightly before letting me go. No more than a brief second. I knew, there were no time for a reunion because one dark shadowhunter had stormed toward us.

"Take my sword!" Isabelle yelled as he pulled out her whip and lashed it to the dark nephilim.

The figure of Valentine flashed through my mind, but I hurriedly threw it away.

_It's okay. This is Izzy._ I talked to myself.

Without waiting any longer, I grabbed that sword and let Simon pulled me till I got myself stood in my own legs.

Wildly, I looked around the room, searching for the person whom I missed so much even we'd been separated just for two days.

I saw everyone here. Magnus, Alec, Maia, Jordan, Luke, My Mother, and some wolves, but I didn't see Jace and Jonathan.

"Where's Jace?" I asked loudly, glaring at Simon. I couldn't find Jace here.

My friend didn't answer but instantly lead me toward the door.

I had no idea who'd gave him a weapon, but now I saw Simon holding a long knife to defense himself.

Not a seraph blades, of course.

"Jace went outside to get Sebastian," Simon replied shortly as he parried the attacks of the dark nephilim, "I think they went downstairs."

Fast, I yanked my hand from his grip, ignored his call, and ran toward the door. I had to pushed and stabbed some dark nephilim but I was too numb to ever gave them a second look.

I have to find them!

Before I reached the door, I saw Magnus and Alec fought side by side. I found it a little bit strange because I knew they were already broke up, but at least they were still protecting each other.

My eyes met Magnus and he give me a wink, right before I stormed out of the room.

I ran along the alley and there they were. they hadn't reach the stairs and were fighting in the living room. Jonathan and Jace were holding their swords against another. Their expression both flared with hatred.

Before I could reach them, Jace lunged forward. He drew his sword which parried by Jonathan immediately. Tehn, My brother jumped, too fast too be seen. In a blink of an eye he were behind Jace, slashing his sword.

I knew Jonathan was so fast, but Jace was the one who could match his speed.

Before Jonathan sword could slice through his back, Jace spun and sprung aback.

I watched them fight with horrors filled my mind

They were equally agile, both had an awesome grace that could only own by angels, or maybe demons. They were both strong too.

I could only watch as their sword kept on clashing. A bit amazed with their battle.

I knew I had to move, but to whom I had to aim my strike?

Not Jace, for sure. For angel's sake, I would never hurt Jace. You could kill me dozens times, I still couldn't hurt him.

To my brother. I knew that's the right answer but somehow I couldn't lift my sword to kill him.

At last, I was just stood still and watch them carefully. I knew above all thing, I should protect Jace.

"I wonder," Jonathan opened his mouth as they revolved against each other, "Do you really think you could kill me? Would your angel heart allow you to do that?"

Jonathan laughed. He sounded so cruel. I almost couldn't believe he was the same person as the one who danced with me today.

Jace stroke and Jonathan parried his sword lightly as if they were just training instead of in the middle of real battle.

"I think I had the Mikhael's heart," Jace replied with his usual cynical smile, "You know, he used to slaughter devils."

That words didn't seem to bother Jonathan. He laughed in devilish way instead.

"Well, then, let's see whose sword is the one which get the blood first."

Jace bowed to avoid Jonathan's sword as smile played in his lips.

"The runner up is the worst loser," he said teasingly, but I could see anger flashed in his eyes, "I am not loser, of course."

After that, Jace fastened up his attack's speed. Their motion became so fast and I hardly followed them till the moment when Jonathan kicked Jace's chest so hard till he flew across the room and hit the wall. Almost didn't stop to take a breath, Jonathan rushed forward. He aimed his sword right at Jace.

"No!"

I shrieked.

I had no idea what I was thinking at that time, or maybe I hadn't thought at all. All I knew was I had to protect Jace.

And the next second, I threw myself between them.

Jonathan, a bit surprised with my act, stopped his sword just in time. The tip of his sword had touched my neck. I could feel something trickled down along my throat.

I shut my eyes closed and had my arms wide opened to protect Jace from Jonathan.

How stupid I was. I had a sword in my hand, but all I did was throwing myself into his sword.

"Step aside, Clary!" Jace yelled. He jumped and pointed his sword right at my brother's neck, "Let go of her, Sebastian, or I'll push my sword. I need only one or maybe two inches."

Jonathan smiled. He stared right at my face.

"You know you're never good at math, Angel Boy."

"You could try me."

Jonathan didn't return Jace's words. He was still looking at me. His voice was cold and stern when he spoke to me.

"If I stab you right now," he said in a low voice. I returned his gaze without any single sign of fear, "This Angel Boy will kill me right then, won't he, Clarissa?"

I didn't answer, but my gaze was enough to explain it.

Yes, I had no doubt Jace would do that. He even had already thought to stab Jonathan before he could plunge his sword into my neck.

"But if I lowered my sword," Jonathan continued. He gave Jace a sharp glance, "No one could guarantee that he would do the same thing."

I looked at Jace. He was frowning. He looked at Jonathan as if my brother was the demon, and he couldn't wait to kill him.

"Jace," I called him. I wanted to say that I wouldn't mind to die as long as I could save the world, as long as I didn't have to kill my brother with my own hand.

Unexpectedly, Jonathan jumped back. He pulled his sword from my throat and also avoided Jace's sword. I saw Jace ran to chase him.

I stunned as they, once again, clashed their sword over and over again, trying to rip the other's body. It seemed like I was watching a sword dance.

Slowly, I lifted my hand toward my neck and wiped a drop of blood.

I realized, my action was a pure reflex. I didn't move my sword at all. Instead, I threw myself to be Jace's shield.

I could lifted my sword to kill Jonathan.

I knew it was ridiculous. They were fighting in front of me, but I couldn't make a decision who was the one I wanted to help.

I would give my life in order to save jace, but I didn't want him to harm my brother.

Tangggg!

I blinked. Jonathan and Jace now were standing face to face. Jace's sword pushed him so he had to parried it with his sword before it sliced his head. They stood still. One was pushing, and the other one was defensing.

"You really want that honor, don't you?" Jonathan said teasingly. An evil grin showed up even though Jace's sword was so close against his face, "The clave would give you a golden cage if you could kill me."

Jace growled. Now he wore such a strong-willed-expression. There were no smile left. He'd decided to kill Jonathan whatever it took.

Jonathan didn't see him coming, but at Jace kicked him so hard. This time, it was Jonathan's turns to flew across the room and hit the wall. Jace moved in an unbelievable fast motion and now was standing in front of Jonathan, pointing his sword right at my brother's chest.

"An inch," Jace spoke to Jonathan in a deep growl, "Or maybe two?"

I saw my brother looked up and grinned.

"Kill me," he ordered, "Make the Clave proud of their dog."

Jace narrowed his eyes.

"Don't bother to ask," he replied, "I am going to kill you."

Even though Jace said so, he still didn't move his sword. Even when Jonathan slowly stood and enforced himself, Jace sword still pointed toward his chest.

Between the numb, I saw Alec and Isabelle rushed into this room. Alec held a dagger in his hand.

I didn't know what happened with his bow. He usually avoid a close combat. Now he was holding a dagger, and I could only wonder how he used it.

Alec.

Alec who'd never kill a demon at all, I remembered Jace told me about that long ago. Now, that Alec was lifting his hand, and threw the dagger toward Jace and Jonathan who were still fighting in the center of this room.

I knew by now, Alec understand that even Jace could kill demons easily, it was different with human. Now Alec's dagger was aimed toward my brother to end everything.

My eyes widened, but screams never left my lips.

A scene flashed in my head. The one when My brother pulled me and parried Valentine's sword. I recalled his voice when he yelled at me, telling me to go away from that place.

And then, everything happened in a flash.

I remembered the feeling when I moved my legs, I also remembered that I stretched out my arms just like when I protected Jace, and above all things, I remembered the pain when the dagger which been thrown by Alec plunged into my chest.

Something ripped my chest and took my breath away as the crippling pain spread from my chest through all my body and reached every tip of my fingers. I gasped, but the air sent more pains into my lungs.

I heard Jace screamed, and also Jonathan's groan. I saw Alec's face which now filled with terrors before I fell into a pair of arms which prevented my body from hitting the floor.

"Clarissa," I heard Jonathan exclaimed my name, not only angrily, but also a little bit scared. I felt my body was spun in such a way that now I was laying on the floor.

Wrong. It felt wrong. My brother's voice would never sounded scared.

Next second I felt a sharp sting in my chest and I screamed. That pain twisted my chest but I still could see as the dagger which a moment ago was in my chest, was whizzing toward Alec. He still stunned in shock. Izzy was the one who pushed him aside.

"Ukh!" I heard Izzy gasped as that dagger plunged into her arm, but she pulled it out immediately. Her face was pale.

"Clary!" I felt an arm lifted my upper back and now I was looking at Jace's face. His eyes widened in anger and worry. That heavenly fire made it flare brighter.

"Why did you do that?" he asked in frustration.

I knew Jace wasn't angry at me, even when he glared at me like now. I could sense that he would feel really bad if I showed a single bit pain.

But it impossible for me to hid the pain when all I could feel was pain.

"My brother…"

At last I could only make that two words.

I wanted to tell Jace that I saw him in Jonathan's dream, how Valentine had treated my brother, and above all that matters, I wanted to tell Jace that I miss him so much. I wanted him to know that when I was watching my parents danced in the woods, I recalled Jace was the only good thing that happened as the result of Valentine's madness.

I also wanted him to know that it was crystal clear for me now. I could see all the things clearly, even from Jonathan's side.

_Do you think I have a place in this world, Clarissa?_

_I will create a pure world, free from the clave's grip._

But I couldn't tell him because every time I took a breath, it just pain that controlled my mind.

Jace blinked. He heard what I said. Hurt and anger came across his face. He laid my body back onto the floor and enforced himself.

"You!" he screamed. His voice was so loud, drawn by wrath. I turned my face fast enough to see him storming toward Jonathan. Now they were both weaponless. Jace stretched his hands and grabbed Jonathan's throat. They both fell onto the floor. Jonathan also held Jace's neck and squeezed hard.

Jace! I wanted to stop them, but I couldn't make any single sound. My chest throbbed more painfully. The pain blinded my eyes and drowned me down into a bottomless darkness. Deeper and deeper.

"Jace."

Finally, I could only make a faint whisper right before the darkness dragged me down.

The last thing I saw was fire.

The heavenly fire that suddenly flamed from Jace touch in Jonathan's throat wrapped their bodies, turning them into a giant torch.


	10. Chapter 10 This Isn't Goodbye At All

**Part Ten – This Isn't Goodbye At All**

**Two Weeks After the Battle**

Tok! Tok! Tok!

I turned my head towards the door. The knocks in there interrupted my daydreams. For some moments I'd just looked at the sky and let my mind wander.

I saw Jace stood in front of the library door. Clearly, he knew that I wasn't aware of his presence. That was why he knocked. A teasing smile showed up in his face.

"Thinking of me?" he asked as he raised his eyebrow and moved closer toward me. His golden eyes shone brightly under the morning sun.

I knew that the heavenly fire still stayed inside his body because I could still see it through his eyes, but he told me that he'd already able to control it by now.

Jace leaned forward and kissed me lightly.

"You know everything, don't you?" I quipped as he pulled himself away. I inched, giving him a space so he could drag a chair and sat beside me, close to the huge window.

"I believe you should be in your room right now," he ignored my words and protested instead, sweeping a strand of my hair and tucked it behind my ear, "But I think it's too late to warn myself that you have an inability to follow the order, right?"

I chuckled, "You do know everything."

Then a silence fell between us.

That night, after I fainted, Isabelle was the one who saved me from the battlefield. In her opinion, I was too close to Jace and Jonathan when they started to burned.

Okay, Izzy told me that Jonathan was the one who got burned because Jace looked like he didn't feel anything when the heavenly fire burned them. It was difference for Jonathan who screamed out loud when the fire touched him.

For a moment, Isabelle thought that Jace had finally got Jonathan killed. He didn't release his grip in my brother's throat. He waited till my brother stayed still then he let go of him. at that moment, just as sudden as when it started, the fire disappeared, leaving Jace and Jonathan with no scorch at all.

For a really brief moment, they thought that it was over. They almost believed that Jonathan had already dead till my brother jumped off. He didn't try to kill Jace like he usually did. He just looked around the room with a wild gaze.

"I swear," Isabelle said when she told me about what happened that night, "Sebastian looked at us. I thought he was about to take you from me."

But that wasn't what happened then. My brother just stared at me for some moment before he grabbed his sword and jumped downstairs. He then went through the portal and disappeared.

Since that night, there was no clue at all about his whereabouts.

"He's still out there, right?" I asked Jace. I turned my face toward him so I could see straight to his face, then I added, "Jonathan, I mean."

Jace nodded without looking at me.

I sighed when I saw Jace's stern expression. I'd told him about all the things that happened to me during the time I'd spent with Jonathan, and I thought he understood why in that battle night I could turn myself into Jonathan's shield.

"He wouldn't die that easily," Jace replied. When he finally looked at me, an undefined smile played in his lips, "That's always like that, right? All of you, the Morgensterns. We'll never find you as long as you decided not to show up."

I mumbled, but didn't argued.

That night, I should have died if Magnus didn't fast enough to help me. Isabelle said she had already draw the iratze, but that rune didn't work perfectly in healing my wound. Magnus was the one who saved my life.

Maybe he just couldn't bear seeing Alec's frustration if his dagger really killed me. If that happened, maybe Alec wouldn't survive from Jace and Jonathan's anger.

"I think I do have so much fortune and luck," I smiled. Jace pulled me into his embrace, chuckling.

"I count on that, Clary Fray. I think you and I do need so much luck."

**A Year After That Night…**

"Are you sure we have to do this right now?!"

I heard Jace mumbled crossly as we skulked into an old building where a group of vampires did some crimes. We knew that from Izzy who got some confidential information from some trusted source.

I didn't have to explain further about who was the trusted source. However, he was following us right now from behind.

"Oh, is this the time I should begin to be panic?" Simon asked Izzy. His eyebrows lifted, "Especially when Jace begin to querying our steps."

"Oh, shut up, Vampire," from my front, Alec hissed, "Moreover, you are the one who got the information about this crime, aren't you?"

Alec was right. Simon was the one who told Izzy that a mundane had been caught and brought here. That kind of information was enough to dragged us from the wedding preparation.

And there we were, skulking into an old neglected building.

"I'm sorry this has to bother your wedding preparation, Clary," my best friend gave me a true gaze fulled with regret, "But I promise you will walk out of here alive and still look great for your ceremony."

Jace hissed fiercely to Simon. Now we were standing in a wide foyer. There was a huge stairs before us. It'd been separated into two branches. One was to the right, and the other was to the left.

"If I got my bride fall asleep in the aisle tomorrow, I will kill you and drink your blood as a substitute for wine."

Beside me, Izzy choked. I didn't know it was due to the joke, or she was disgusted imagining Jace drunk Simon's blood.

"Last time I heard," Simon mumbled in a low voice, "Vampire was the one who drinks blood."

I smirked.

Yes, tomorrow was my wedding day. The day which I had waiting for so long after Jace knelt down before me, asking me to marry him.

Don't bother asking me if I accepted it or not. That time, the only thing which prevented me from answer his proposal as fast as I could was because I ran out my breath due to my happiness.

That wasn't less romantic than my parents scene in the wood, trust me.

I could never imagine if Jace was really my brother. Maybe now I was the most unhappy girl in the world.

Strange indeed, but I was really glad that my brother was Jonathan and not Jace. Even though he made me almost killed him so many times.

Suddenly I stumbled.

"Be careful," Izzy held my hand and helped me balancing my body. I thanked her in a low voice.

"Right or left?"

From my front I heard Jace asking. He must be talking about the stairs.

"I don't want us to be separated."

I looked around and noticed that everyone was agreed with Jace. We didn't want to be separated inside this old building. Especially when we didn't know exactly the amount of those vampires.

"How about right?" Simon suggested, "You know, right always seems right."

Four gaze directed toward Simon include mine.

"What?" he asked. Returned our gaze defensively, "I'm just suggesting."

Jace made a low growl before he turned back.

"Okay, we are turning right."

We moved after Jace. Alec had prepared his bow. Isabelle grabbed her whip, while I held a tight grip on my seraph blade.

Over there, we found a huge door. Jace stood in front of it, trying to listen carefully. He frowned.

"It's so quiet in there," he said, then he pushed that door and made a single slit. Enough for us to know that there was only darkness in there.

Behind me, I heard Izzy's low laughter.

As fast as I could, I turned around.

I should have known it when Isabelle who usually so concerned about details, especially about our look, let me participated in a hunt right on the night before my wedding. In a normal condition, she would have scolded me and dragged me into my bed to get some sleep.

There was something wrong with them

But now, after I realized that, everything was too late.

"Come on!" Isabelle yelled while he dragged me. Simon and Alec were holding Jace as they pushed the door till it wide opened. They pulled us into the darkness before released us. Nervously, I seek for a hold.

"Jace!" I yelled with relieved as my hand found his. He held me tightly.

"Mikhael!" Jace exclaimed and the light of the blade shone upon three faces before us. the sword's tip almost scratch Simon's nose.

"Hey..!"

He jerked aback right when hundreds of witchlight stone illuminated the hall. It glowed from every direction and created a mysterious atmosphere.

"Happy the night before wedding!"

Cheers welcomed us as I and Jace blinked several times in surprised. Isabelle threw her coat and I found out that she had wear a tight black dress beneath it. Alec matched her with the battle clothes.

Behind the three of them, I saw Magnus, My Mother, Luke, The Lightwoods, The Penhallows, The Blacthornes, and so many others. They were all already well dressed. The sound of music came from nowhere. I had tried to figure it out, but I couldn't find where did the music come from.

"Nothing more fun than a surprise party, right?" Isabelle pulled out a dress from her bag and grabbed my wrist, "Now I have to fix you. You can't walking around in that outfit."

With surprise still remained in my mind, I let myself been dragged by Isabelle toward a door next to us. from behind me I still could hear Jace's mumble.

"I think it'll be great if you told me about it before we came here."

"And miss the moment when you looked like a donkey? You must be kidding me!"

Then I heard Simon yelled and cursed. It seemed like Jace had just kicked him.

"At least I'm the handsome one."

The noises from the hall disappeared at the moment Isabelle closed the door behind us. The room which we came into had a huge mirror that hung on the wall.

"I can believe this. Did you really plan this party?" I asked right after Izzy ordered me to sit. I was a little bit amazed.

Isabelle removed strands of hair from my face and laughed.

"Yes," she said, started to put something in my face, "I and Simon planned this party, Alec agreed easily, and Magnus, you know he always so excited about party. Then we told your mother and Luke, and they agreed. Luke even allowed us to use this building. You know, this building owned by his pack. We also asked for Raphael's help for wines. He does so great in this business."

I could only listen to her explanation, couldn't help myself but feeling thankful.

"So, there are nephilims, vampires, warlock, and werewolves out there. You didn't invite a faery, did you?"

Isabelle laughed as she heard my question.

"Of course not, Clary. Do I supposed to invite any of them?"

"I'm just wondering," I mumbled softly and made Izzy laughed louder.

Fifteen minutes later, Izzy had finished with me and I couldn't help but felt astonished about her work. Now I looked different. The black dress which Izzy brought for me had a high neckline and completely hid my scar while the edge of the dress touch my knee softly.

"This time, you choose a very right dress," I said happily. I looked at Isabelle's reflection in the mirror. She stood by me, looked so tall compared to me. Amusement played in her eyes.

"I always choose well, Clary. You are the one who hardly appreciate that."

I laughed. Once again, I let myself being dragged by Izzy.

In the hall, the party was about to start. I saw my mother stood in the center of the hall, holding hands with Luke. Beside them, there were Robert and Maryse Lightwood. Magnus stood not so far from them, talked to Jace with an annoyed face.

As I and Izzy came closer, they turned around and stared at us.

My eyes met Jace's and everything but us faded from my mind. All my attention was focused to Jace and how his eyebrow lifted when he saw me. His eyes that once looked at Magnus with some amusement slowly changed into an admiring gaze when our eyes met. He didn't try to hid it, and it made me even happier.

That admiration was aimed to me. Not other people, but only to me.

How could I deny that I was the happiest girl in the world?

"Are you ready?"

Magnus voice drew back my attention to the real world. Tonight he wore an indigo tux. He seemed so nice.

"Ready for what?" I blinked my eyes. Completely had no idea what he was talking about, "The ceremony is scheduled for tomorrow, right? I am not wearing gold."

People around me laughed, and they laughed louder as they saw me in confusion.

"No, Clary," finally Magnus answered me, "We just about to do some small procession in order to begin this night. There won't be any rune drawing tonight."

I nodded, then I let him lead me to stand face to face with Jace. He stood beside us.

"Attention, Please," Magnus shouted and now everyone's gaze were aimed to our direction. I looked at Jace intensely and found that the happiness which I felt were also reflected there in that golden eyes. The music stopped in a sudden, then Magnus continued.

"We are gathering here tonight to share the happiness with this couple who, I have to admit, looked so stunning now."

Magnus paused as the applause followed his words.

"Now, I want to begin this night by asking to our happy couple," Magnus glance at me, "Clarissa Adele Morgenstern."

I jerked to hear Magnus tone which suddenly became so serious.

"Do you ready to pass this night and face the ceremony by tomorrow, the ceremony which will bind you to the man, who is standing before you right now, forever? In good times and in bad, in sickness and in health till the death separate you?"

Magnus words sounded identically same with mundane's wedding vow till I couldn't resist the tremble in my lips when I opened my mouth and made a faint answer.

"Yes, I do."

The silence came following my words before Magnus spoke again.

"Okay," he took a breath and continued.

"Jonathan Christopher Herondale."

I jumped a little hearing Magnus called Jace's full name.

Right. In the shadowhunter's ceremony, we had to use our real name. no matter how bad we felt about it. I saw Jace's eyes tensed when he heard that name.

Jonathan Christopher.

My brother's figure flashed in my mind and I didn't realize that Magnus had already finished his sentence. Now it was Jace's turn to answer.

"Yes, I do."

With an undefined feeling, I heard Magnus announced that the party could begin. Jace pulled me immediately and landed a soft kiss in my lips.

"You are thinking about him," Jace whispered softly. He weren't asking at all. He said that as he was telling me about something.

I nodded, leaning my head on his chest.

"Where do you think he is right now?"

Under my ear, I could hear Jace's strong heartbeat. The pulse reached my skin and made my face warmed.

"The place where he can always protect you."

I pulled away fast. My eyes widened as I heard Jace's words.

"What do you mean?"

Jace stretched his hand and caressed my head.

"Someone like him will never give up on something he'd already started. I'm just wondering if he will ever let you hurt yourselves with your empty minded act."

I narrowed my eyes.

"I still don't understand what you mean by that, Jace. Could you be nice for a second and tell me, what do you mean?"

"I always be a nice person, Clary."

I didn't answer. Just rolled my eyes and kept on looking at him till he took a deep breath and answered.

"I met him."

"When?" I jerked.

I couldn't believe this. Jace and Jonathan had met after that night and he didn't tell me? Did they fight again?

"Before you even awoken from you long sleep," Jace smiled teasingly, "He came into the infirmary."

"What?" my eyes widened in disbelief, "Did he try to kill you?"

Jace smirked, "Strangely, he didn't. Okay, we were holding our sword toward another, but that was all. He came to make sure of your safety."

"My safety?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

"Yes," Jace insisted, "He wanted to take you with him, but of course I told him to ask my dead body first."

"Then he left?"

Jace looked at me. A faint smile went through his face, "Not before telling me to note my word. I can conclude that, he'll be okay with us as long as I have more scars than you."

I didn't say a word, only looked at him intensely. I knew Jace didn't tell me everything, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to ask him. Izzy had ever warned me, never asked Jace about something unless you really wanted to hear the truth.

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

Finally, I asked. Even it wasn't the exact thing I wanted to know.

Jace silenced for some minutes. He was thinking. I knew it from his expression.

"Do you know, Clary," he answered, looking at me. Smile disappeared from his lips, "No matter how strong and adorable I am, I still have some fears."

I couldn't help myself not to roll my eyes.

"And you've been act so weird in that battle night," he added, "It just felt like there's a chance you'll agree to come with him and leave us."

His words made me I glared at him in disbelief.

"Don't you ever think about that," I hissed, "How could I…"

"I know," Jace cut my words, grinning, "Stupid me, isn't it? But you know, love make you stupid."

"Nice try," once again I rolled my eyes before stare at Jace's eyes seriously, "Do you think that he's around right now?"

Jace looked down. His eyes shone. His gaze reminded me to Valentine's gaze when he looked at my mother.

"If you ever paid a single attention…"

Jace didn't need to finish his sentence. I turned around in time to see a figure slipped out from the hall.

I might be wrong, but I saw a flash of a familiar silvery hair.

As fast as I could, I ran across the hall, ignoring them who called me. All I knew was I had to follow that person.

Jonathan.

Behind me, I could hear Jace told people to let me go.

Darkness welcomed me as I rushed out from the hall, but it wasn't dark enough to stop my steps. I kept on running, following the footsteps before me. It lead me to the rooftop.

"Jonathan!" I yelled right when he was about to jump, "Stop!"

Jonathan stopped his motion and turned around. He showed me a faint smile.

"That Angel Boy told you that I'm here?" he asked flatly.

I nodded.

"Sure he would jump if you told him to go to hell."

I ignored his mumble and looked at him intensely.

He hadn't changed since the last time I saw him. Still tall, agile, and his move implied a strength which he possessed.

But I knew, there was something changed.

The darkness. The darkness which I always feel inside him had disappeared. Was it the side effect of being burned by heavenly fire?

"That fire…"

"Burns evil," he cut me before I complete my words, "You didn't think I could make it out safely, did you?"

Jonathan's words called some memories.

"So there's enough goodness inside you," I smiled simply. Feeling some warmth inside my heart.

"I think so," my brother softened his gaze a bit, "You saved me, Clarissa."

I didn't answer. Still looked at him as he continued.

"Thank you."

"You saved me as well, remember?" I raised my eyebrows, reminding him at the time he faced Valentine to save me.

Jonathan shook his head.

"I'm not talking about how you accepted that dagger for me. It's something else."

I frowned because I didn't understand what he meant, but somehow I knew that he wouldn't explain it further.

Right at that time, the undeniable fact rushed into my mind. The Fact that We are siblings.

This was what siblings did, right? We compete, we hate, but we love each others. All at once. We just... kind of did it in an extreme way. We hated till we wanted to kill each other, but at that time, we also could sacrifice our life to protect each others.

Now it made sense for me, a bound between us. Magnus was right, it wasn't magical thing at all.

"Are you gonna continue your plan after this?"

I looked at him with a little bit sadness. He returned my gaze with undefined ones.

He looked at me softly.

"Yes," he walked towards me and pulled me into his embrace, "Everything should happen in the way it should be."

"You still wanna destroy my world?" my voice was muffled by his body, but I could still hear a tremble in it.

Jonathan silenced.

"I won't say anything for now, Clarissa," I couldn't see his face, but I could hear smile in his voice, "I don't want you to interfere with anything right now."

"I thought you'd became a good guy!" I protested, nearly pulled away from him but his arms held me still.

"Then let's say that I don't wanna destroy the world," he said teasingly, "I wanna change it."

"What?" I urged.

"I'll find my way, you know," now he hug me tighter, "Maybe someday, this world will changed, and you won't realize it until it happened."

Again, I didn't understand what he meant, but something in his voice prevented me to argued any longer and just stayed still, feeling his embrace.

The first time I felt a real hug from my brother, back there in that house, that moment only last for some seconds, but this time he hug me long enough till I could feel his warm body wrapped around me. His arms were as strong as the last time I felt it around my body. Only now, it wrapped me in a good way.

"So, is this what they called a goodbye hug?" I asked after some moments passed. He still hug me. The vibration that caused by his laugh hit my face.

"Maybe you expect something better?"

I pulled away and shook my shoulder.

"I have no idea. I have no brother but you."

Jonathan looked down. His expression was still the same, calm and emitted something I didn't know was there before. He then stepped back.

"You are my only sister, Clarissa," he said as he turned around. Right before he jumped, Jonathan turned his head and looked at me for the last time. His eyes glowed in the darkness, "Don't ever forget that."

Then he disappeared, leaving me half aware with all around me. I went down the stairs and back to my friends which were worrying about me. Their worry faded as fast as I convinced them that I was okay. Only Jace who was still looking at me, waiting for me to throw myself into his arms.

"So, what did our long lost brother say to you?"

I shut my eyes closed, letting his warmth wiped away the chill that caused by an emptiness in my heart.

"It was a goodbye," I felt my voice trembled. I gulped over and over again to hide that, "He said he wanna change this world."

"Into a good one? Or a bad one?"

"I don't know."

I heard jace snorted. He sounded so amused.

"He really loves to dramatize everything, doesn't he?" he scoffed, "I don't believe he'll keep his eyes away from you just like that. Moreover, demon's love is the possessive ones."

"Jace," I scolded.

He laughed.

"There are things that will still stay inside us no matter what, Clary," he whispered softly, "For your brother, that's his love for you. It will remain like that. A demon's possessive love. He won't let you go that easy."

I looked up to find Jace's eyes. He didn't seem bothered at all.

I'd never imagined this. I meant, the world where Jace and Jonathan could let the other alive. It had never crossed my mind even for once.

"From your expression, I conclude that it's a good thing."

Jace laughed, tightening his arms around me.

"One private bodyguard for my fiancee. It sounds great."

I gasped to hear that word.

My fiancee.

My heart floated till it felt like I was going to explode.

"Come on," Jace whispered again, "Let's just enjoy this night."

I nodded. I let him pulled me to the center of the hall. He held my hand and we started to dance.

Later, after we'd been back in the institute, I found a letter in my coat's pocket which I remembered was left in the room where Izzy prepared me during the party. That letter signed by J.C. Morgenstern.

If I opened that letter with a trembling hands, then when I finally closed it, tears flew down along my cheeks.

Jace was right. My brother wouldn't just left me. Even though I might never saw him anymore, he wouldn't be far away.

This isn't goodbye at all.

**Five Years Later.**

It was a beautiful fall in New York. Leafs started turning into yellow and red before fell down. The Central Park which was usually green, now changed its color. Red, yellow, and orange. The sun started to set but the figure which I'd been searching for so long hadn't show up yet.

"Mom," my daughter stretched her hand to touched my face. She'd been sitting in my lap while I anxiously searched for her brother, "Maybe he's just playing somewhere and forget the time."

I looked down to find a pair of emerald eyes owned by my daughter, and nearly burst a laugh, realizing my anxiety.

"You're right, Tina. Maybe we should go find him."

I put beanie on to Tina's head which covered by blonde curls, as golden as the purest gold. Then I rose, lifting my daughter who circled her arms around my neck.

I was hanging my bag to my shoulder when Tina pulled my coat and pointed toward a direction behind me.

"Mom, that's him!"

I turned fast to find my son skipping happily toward me. A huge lollipop was held in his right hand. His golden eyes shone happily.

Like a miracle, my son inherited Valentine's hair perfectly. His back figure would reminded me of the Little Jonathan which I saw back there in the dreamland. Just that, when he turned around, I would find Jace in his eyes which looked like a melted gold and flashing with confidence and intelligence.

And of course, not like Jonathan, my son looked so happy.

Since the first time I hug him, I knew he would be a great shadowhunter. I and Jace exchanged gaze right after we saw him for the first time, and we even didn't need to say a word to understand that we'd agreed about how we would name him.

And my guess wasn't wrong, Jonathan got his sight to the shadow world without being taught by anyone. He had the annoying braveness and confidence which, I believed, he got from Jace. He even didn't cry when he saw demons for the first time.

"Jonathan Stephen Herondale!"

I yelled and Jonathan stunned in an instance. He realized an anxiety in my voice and hurriedly ran toward me. His eyes sparkled beneath the red sunlight.

"Do you know that you made me worried to death?"

I lifted my daughter down to put my hands in my waist as he stared at my with a wide eyes.

"You don't have to be worried, Mom," he said with a confidence which sometimes make me wanted to pinch his butt because of its annoyance, "Demons would never show up in such a place with so much mundanes in there."

"And how do you know that?" I narrowed my eyes and looked at him. Tina stood next to me squeezing the edge of my coat.

"Dad told me so."

Oh my god! I shut my eyes closed. Half because I was completely annoyed, and half because I was very proud of his braveness.

When I opened my eyes, Jonathan was watching me from behind his thick eyelashes. His silvery hair was just seen a bit under his beanie.

Slowly, I took a deep breath.

"He was right," I said calmly as I hung my bag back upon my shoulder, "But it almost dark here. We gotta go."

"Okay," Jonathan didn't argued. He reached out for my hand happily. His other hand was stretched toward his sister, "Come on, Valentina. I'll share this lollipop with you once we got home."

Tina accepted Jonathan's hand happily. Her curls moved as she did that, showing a beautiful golden glimmer.

I watched my children and smiled. None of them had a red hair. Maybe the little one which was still inside my womb had the red one.

"By the way," Tina looked up to find Jonathan's face as we walked home, "How did you get that huge lollipop?"

My son's eyes sparkled when he answered his sister question.

"Uncle gave it to me."

"Uncle who?" I asked fast. I didn't like the idea of my son played with stranger without my knowledge.

"I met this uncle in the park last week and a week before that. He's a shadowhunter too. He said he has the same name as me and then we played together," Jonathan told me with wide smile adorned his face, "You know, he has a white hair too. Just like me."

In a second, I stunned, looking at my son in disbelief.

"He has the same name as yours?" I confirmed as I squatted in front of him, "And he has white hair too?"

Jonathan nodded, still smiling.

"He's so kind. He told me so many things I'd never knew before, and today he gave me this lollipop."

"Did he gave you something else?" I urged, "Like weapon?"

My children gave me confused gazes as if I'd just said a weird thing.

"No," Jonathan frowned, "He does always bring a sword, I know even though he hide it beneath his coat, but he didn't gave me any sword."

I felt an urge to let out a sigh of relieved and I did it.

"Did he tell you anything else?"

My son was back smiling.

"Yes. He told me that he will see me again and teach me some trick with my sword but he won't show up in couple days because he had to finish his business first," then he paused, "You'll allow me to meet him, right? Though, he said you know him."

I had no idea what to say. I recalled how Valentine had trained my brother and couldn't resist the chill that went along my spine.

"Let's find out what daddy say about this," I enforced myself and looked down at his face. I found My son nodded even though he was frowning. We then continued our walk.

Jonathan.

He did never leave me behind. He was always there.

Always.

"You don't mad at us, do you?" Jonathan asked me in a low voice, "Uncle did told me not to tell you because you would get angry, but… yeah…"

My son shook his shoulder. I knew he couldn't keep a secret from me.

"No," finally I replied, giving him a smile. "But, if you ever met him again, give him my greeting."

My son sighed in relieved and then smiled happily. He then hummed softly and moved his hand up and down along with Valentina as we continued our walk.

Since the last time I saw my brother, I'd tried couple times to reached his mind, but he'd never answered my call till I finally gave up in calling him.

I watched the red sun and realized that another day had ended peacefully.

Deep in my heart I wanted to wish for the peace in my children life. I wanted that everyday in their life would ended as peace as today did. But I knew, there would come the time when they had to face the battle against demons.

The war against evil would never end as long as there were demons in this world. We had to keep on fighting.

Because we are shadowhunters.

* * *

**Okay, that's all for this story. Thank you for everyone who have read my story. I Hope you enjoy it as much as I did during the writing process.**

**I am planning on writing another story about the letter Jonathan'd left for Clary as soon as I have my time. :)**


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